“Look, being offended is a choice. You have to make a choice to be offended. I chose not to be offended.”  “Being hurt is not a productive emotion.”  Tom Selleck (Actor) Occasionally, some celebrities model ideas, attitudes, and philosophies consistent with Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT). This fact is not a surprise because Albert Ellis, … Read more

Summary of Video: Constructing complete, foundational, healthy attitudes with two components is best. The first component is your asserted preference, followed by negating your demand. For example, I want you to treat me nicely (an asserted preference), but sadly, you may not do so. You do not have to treat me nicely (negated demand). Constructing complete, … Read more

Summary: The philosophical message of REBT is that reality never has to be how you want it to be. People resist this message and give various reasons for perfuming the rigid attitudes that lead to their self-defeating emotional disturbance. REBT shows them that the evidence is clear that reality never has to be what we … Read more

  Summary: Discipline your mind to avoid confusing empirically supported natural laws with recommendations, preferences, and good ideas. Confusing one of your preferences as a natural law that you and others must follow will likely lead to emotional disturbance when your preferences are unmet. Seek to take your rigid, dogmatic, anti-scientific ideas and transform them … Read more

Summary: Start by identifying what is under your control. Focus first on you and then on the external situation. Work inside out. Look for rigid and extreme attitudes, e.g., You must do what I think is right. It is awful if you disagree with me and do it your way. Challenge your rigid and extreme … Read more

Intolerance is a global issue, not confined to any one nation. It manifests in various forms and is directed at different targets, leading to divisions among family, friends, neighbors, and colleagues. Even before the recent assassination attempt on Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump, a longstanding personal concern of mine is the inability of my fellow … Read more

Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy is rooted in philosophy. Due to its philosophical foundation, REBT can help you to cope with the grimmest of adversity, including one’s death and the deaths of one’s loved ones and friends. Emotionally Prepare Yourself to Die Well Before Death Approaches The Buddhists and the Stoics encouraged people to prepare themselves … Read more

“Perfection is impossible. In the 1526 singles matches I played in my career, I won almost 80% of those matches. Now, I have a question for you. What percentage of points do you think I won in those matches? Only 54%. In other words, even top-ranked tennis players win barely more than half of the points they play. When you lose every second … Read more

I recently read in the Wall Street Journal about a new legion of “therapists” practicing “financial therapy.” These mental health practitioners aim to help individuals and couples with emotional and behavioral problems related to money management. Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy is well qualified to help people with these types of issues because many of these … Read more

Each year, on my birthday, June 9th, I celebrate with a shame-attacking exercise. Unconditional self-acceptance is cultivated and maintained by shame-attacking exercises that take you out of your comfort zone in interpersonal situations. They assist you in giving up an unhealthy need for approval from others and enable you to provide yourself with perhaps the greatest gift … Read more