To effectively use the ABC framework to facilitate your attempt to experience healthy negative emotions, you need to specify the Adversity you are reacting to and the unhealthy, self-defeating emotional-behavioral response you are exhibiting. People often struggle to correctly identify their feelings at C or the Adversity at A. For example, they may recognize they are upset but unable to say they are experiencing unhealthy hurt. In other cases, they know they are angry but have difficulty fully articulating what about the situation is distressing to them. Effective self-help begins with awareness. It is easier to fix something if you know where to begin.
In REBT, we emphasize precise analysis of your emotional episode to produce fruitful efforts to address your emotional disturbance and help you transform it into healthy negative emotions. When you observe my Saturday REBT demonstrations on Zoom, you will see I spend sufficient time with volunteers understanding the situation at A. However, I ferret out what they find disturbing: the Situational Adversity’s distressing aspect, also known as the Critical A. I also spend sufficient time identifying the unhealthy element of their emotional-behavioral response to the Adversity they face. I build motivation for change by helping the volunteer see an emotional option they could choose in response to their Adversity which would be healthy and self-helping. This healthy emotional-behavioral choice acknowledges their negative state of affairs. It also facilitates behavior that will optimally help them change what they can change or live well with what is unchangeable.
Dryden (2022) has done excellent work articulating eight pairs of healthy-unhealthy negative emotions that cover nearly all negative emotional experiences. I highly recommend that you familiarize yourself with the thematic content of each of the eight pairs of emotions. Doing so will improve your skill at identification of the Adversity at A and its corresponding Consequential Emotion at C. Each of the eight emotion pairs is related to a different subject matter. Knowing the subject matter of each healthy-unhealthy emotional duo will make you more aware, which will help in your effort to restore your psychological health when you go on disputing your self-defeating attitudes at point B. Taking the time to identify A and C in a precise way enables you to zero in on your attitudes at point B.
Attached to this email is a cheat sheet you can print with the thematic content of these eight pairs of negative emotions. I suggest you print it out. Have it ready to refer to when you experience emotional disturbance to enable you to use the ABC model better. When you notice that you are experiencing unhealthy emotional feelings or self-defeating behavior, look the cheat sheet over and see if you can identify the specific emotions you are feeling at point C. To help you search, you can ask yourself, “What is the subject matter of my emotional experience?” You may be disinclined to do this step because it takes some time. People seem to want to rush into disputing their rigid and extreme attitudes at point B without understanding what they are upset about at A and what they feel at C. Clarity at A and C is essential to effective self-help and disputing. It may be easier to identify the subject matter of the Adversity at A instead of what specific unhealthy feeling you are experiencing at C. Alternatively, you may know your feeling at C, but knowing the thematic content of that particular emotion will make it easier for you to specify the most distressing aspect of the Adversity at A, which I often refer to as your Critical Inference or hunch. Use the cheat sheet to look over the content associated with each healthy-unhealthy pair of negative emotions. Once you have found the subject matter at A on this cheat sheet, you can then check to see the healthy and unhealthy feelings that correspond with it. This cheat sheet will also help you know your healthy emotional goal when you dispute your rigid and extreme attitudes that are the foundation for your emotional upset. REBT wants you to experience negative feelings in the face of Adversity. We want those feelings to be healthy, not self-defeating and unhealthy.
Once you have identified the unhealthy feeling you are experiencing and related it to the subject matter of your Adversity at A, you will then do a better job of specifying your rigid and extreme attitude at B. Effective emotional change involves precise specification of your self-defeating attitudes. When you have well articulated the rigid or extreme attitudes at B, the more significant the emotional impact you will experience by challenging that well-specified attitude at B.
Below is the thematic content of the eight healthy-unhealthy emotional pairs identified by Dryden (2022). Notice how the subject matter at A is identical for each pair’s healthy and unhealthy emotions. For example, both unhealthy feelings of depression and healthy feelings of sadness are related to your conclusion (or hunch) that you have suffered a loss, failure, or undeserved burden at point A. REBT theory argues you are better off not questioning your hunch (technically called a Critical Inference) at A. Assume your hunch or conclusion at A is accurate. For example, you can assume that you have failed in attaining your goal at A and your suspicion that the worst-case scenario will occur. Namely, you will not enjoy the pleasure of success at A. Once you have correctly zeroed in on the subject matter at A (failure) and have the emotion at C (Unhealthy Depression), you can identify and challenge the rigid and extreme attitudes at B (I must not fail or get rejected. I am a loser.), which REBT theory says is mainly responsible for your unhealthy emotional disturbance at B.
Unhealthy and Healthy Emotional Pairs
Unhealthy Anxiety \ Healthy Concern: the subject matter at A of this pair involves threat. You perceive a threat at A. There are two threat categories. One threat category is a threat to your comfort or safety or a loved one’s comfort or safety. For example, you may have nonego anxiety when you learn someone stole your social security number. Your threat is potentially wasted time and loss of money because you assume you will have to spend hours notifying banks that the thief used your identity to obtain fraudulent bank loans in your name. Anxiety related to this category is what we call nonego anxiety. The person feels nonego anxiety because they believe they could not bear the hours of phone calls to sort this fraud out and clear their good name.
The second category of anxiety involves a threat to your ego. An example would be a person who fears asking someone out on a date because they may get rejected; if this occurred, they would consider themselves a loser.
Unhealthy Depression \ Healthy Sadness: the subject matter at A of this pair involves loss, failure, rejection, or underserved plight or burden. The loss, failure, or burden can be yours or belong to someone you care about.
Unhealthy Guilt \ Healthy Remorse: the subject matter at A involves violating a moral code. Your hunch at A is that you either did an immoral act, hurt another person, or chose not to do a good or helpful deed.
Unhealthy Shame \ Healthy Disappointment: the subject matter at A involves your view that you fell short of your ideal standards, and there is the potential for others to come to know of this poor performance. In other instances, you may have shame when something highly negative, damaging, or a negative revelation about you or someone you associate with, such as a family member, is made public.
Unhealthy Hurt \ Healthy Sorrow: the subject matter at A involves your conclusion that someone important or dear to you is less invested in your relationship with them. You see yourself as being poorly treated or in a way you do not deserve, being treated with less respect, with the other person revealing less emotional investment than you desire. The behavior demonstrated by the other suggests to you that you are not as significant to them as they are to you.
Unhealthy Anger \ Healthy Anger (Annoyance): the subject matter at A involves your perception that you are either being obstructed, someone is transgressing rules you believe in, or threatening your self-esteem. When your self-esteem is threatened (ego-based anger), you conclude you have been insulted, and your anger is associated with that conclusion.
Unhealthy Jealousy \ Healthy Jealousy (Concern for your relationship): the subject matter at A is your hunch that someone poses a threat to your meaningful or romantic relationship. Your thinking at A can also focus on the uncertainty around your significant other’s thinking, behavior, or current location in the context of this perceived threat to your relationship.
Unhealthy Envy \ Healthy Envy: the subject matter at A is your judgment that someone possesses something you desire (things, relationships, traits, or characteristics), but you do not have those prized possessions.
The Bottom Line:
I tell my patients and student psychotherapists to take the time to learn the subject matter or thematic content of each of the above pairs of emotions. You can make index cards where you put on one side the healthy-unhealthy pair of negative emotions and on the other side the subject matter that corresponds to this pair. Most people will not make index cards, but this study will pay dividends as it raises your emotional awareness. However, if you are disinclined to make index cards, at least print out the handout below to refer to it when upset. The information on the cheat sheet will enable you to put words to the subject matter of your emotional disturbance. It will also help you identify the unhealthy feeling at C and a suitable healthy negative emotion for you to strive to have through your efforts to change your attitude towards the Adversity you face.
Reference:
Dryden, W. (2022). Understanding emotional problems and their healthy alternatives: The REBT perspective. Routledge.