There is a podcast I recently came across titled We Regret to Inform You. Each episode tells the story of someone who has triumphed over rejection. One episode I found particularly interesting focused on the rise of Lady Gaga. It chronicles her hardship as she went from someone her peers bullied to a music icon. Rejection is … Read more

My goal in these Intermittent Reinforcement emails is to help people deepen their understanding of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy to use it to better their lives. REBT is a well-woven system of ideas that Dr. Albert Ellis constructed by combining his vast knowledge of ancient and modern philosophy with his clinical experience working with patients … Read more

The brave own the world. – German Proverb I made a conscious decision that I wasn’t going to be dependent on being liked. – Bjork I reflect on REBT’s application to various problems in these weekly emails. This week it occurred to me that interpersonal fear and shame are a problem for nearly all people … Read more

Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is a philosophy of life and the original formulation of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT). It is the form of CBT I choose to practice because of its distinct strengths and emphases. REBT’s primary focus is to help people reduce emotional disturbance in the face of adversity. A close second aim … Read more

To effectively use the ABC framework to facilitate your attempt to experience healthy negative emotions, you need to specify the Adversity you are reacting to and the unhealthy, self-defeating emotional-behavioral response you are exhibiting. People often struggle to correctly identify their feelings at C or the Adversity at A. For example, they may recognize they … Read more

During my daily REBT sessions, I identify and dispute a person’s rigid, extreme, self-defeating attitudes. I then generate flexible and non-extreme attitudes and other self-helping thoughts, which I pass to the person to work on between sessions to adopt and implement. Before telehealth, I would write these attitudes on index cards and then give these … Read more

In REBT, we use the ABC framework to understand our self-defeating emotional responses to Adversity. We also use it to help transform this unhealthy reaction into a healthy one, better enabling us to change what we can and live well with what is unchangeable. When we face unchangeable adversity, our healthy response enables us to find … Read more

Utopias do not exist. You had better heed the message of REBT on this one. REBT acknowledges that you prefer life to be a particular way, but it teaches you to strive to change what you dislike and accept those aspects of life that you cannot change. Learn to seek evidence to support a healthy, … Read more

In Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), we encourage unconditional other-acceptance. It is a form of acceptance you apply to friends, family, colleagues, and everyone else you encounter. When you unconditionally accept others, you distinguish between the other individual and the parts of that individual you like, dislike, and evaluate as neutral. You restrict your judgment … Read more

Albert Ellis, the originator of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy, argued that believing in the unchangeable influence of the past is invalid and self-defeating. Human behavior is highly unpredictable. Just because a person reacts in some circumstances one way does not necessarily predict they will respond in that same way under all conditions forever more. Yes, … Read more