1. I can't stand it
2. It is awful
3. People rating and damnation
Once you identify your demands and any secondary derivative irrational beliefs try to dispute and question them. Must your partner be different than they are? Is it really true that you cannot stand their behavior? Is it really awful that your partner is they way they are? When your partner misbehaves are you condemning and damning them in your head or are you just putting down their misbehavior?
Then try to come up with your own rational philosophy so that you tolerate your partner's weaknesses and can enjoy their strengths.
(Example: "I really wish my partner did not do X but sadly fallible humans do these things. There is no law of the universe that says my partner must not do these things. For as long as I choose to be in this relationship it will help me to remain responsible for my emotions even when my partner does X. I can stand this behavior although I do not like this behavior. This misbehavior proves my partner is a very fallible human and I can accept him/her as such even though I will put down their behavior. This will enable me to better tolerate my partner's misbehavior while still being able to enjoy my partner's good behaviors.")