Here is an attitude many hold and clearly leads to emotional disturbance: “Other people, particularly those I have cared for and treated well, absolutely must treat me kindly and fairly, or else they are rotten individuals who deserve to suffer!”Now reflect on these three questions:
1. When I hold the attitude “Other people, particularly those I have cared for and treated well, absolutely must treat me kindly and fairly, or else they are rotten individuals who deserve to suffer!” do I function well? Does this attitude work for me in the real world? Does it help me bounce back when people disappoint me? What are the functional consequences of having this attitude? (Functional challenge to the attitude)
My answer is:
2. Is the attitude “Other people, particularly those I have cared for and treated well, absolutely must treat me kindly and fairly, or else they are rotten individuals who deserve to suffer!” an ABSOLUTE TRUTH or is it a MYTH? Does the evidence support this to be true or false? If it is false what evidence can you point to that shows it is false? Is this attitude consistent with observable reality? (True or false challenge to the attitude)
My answer is:
3. Is the attitude”Other people, particularly those I have cared for and treated well, absolutely must treat me kindly and fairly, or else they are rotten individuals who deserve to suffer!” logical? Is there are leap of logic buried within this attitude? Where does that leap that makes it illogical occur? Does the premise of the attitude logically lead to the conclusion of the attitude? (Logical challenge to the attitude)
My answer is:
Normally, I would provide you with the answers to these questions. REBT encourages thinking for yourself. Therefore today, in order to get you to stretch a bit, I will let you reflect on these three groups of questions and chew on them yourself. Print this post out and write in your answer in the space I have provided below each group of questions and see what happens. You can stand to give them some thought. You can do it.
Note: I am a clinical psychologist with 27 years of experience. I practice psychotherapy and train doctoral students in the practice of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy and Cognitive Behavior Therapy at the University of Pennsylvania’s Penn Behavioral Health Center located within the department of psychiatry of the Perelman School of Medicine. I am an adjunct faculty member of New York University’s Steinhardt School in the department of Applied Psychology, and author of the soon to be released “Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy: A Newcomer’s Guide”. I have a private practice in Philadelphia. I am available for psychotherapy, coaching, and professional training and consultation in person or by Skype. Feel free to contact me or join my Intermittent Reinforcement email list and get started learning Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy today.