Unhealthy anger is self-defeating. When angry we are inclined to say things we later regret, do self-defeating things, not consider the long term consequences of our behavior, and experience a reduction in our ability to think creatively. Anger also leads to violence. Anger might feel good in the short run but more often than not … Read more

The ability to effectively cope with rejection is an important part of emotional health. From cradle to grave rejection will inevitably occur as we cannot be everyone’s “cup of tea” in all circumstances. Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy is an effective tool for coping with the inevitable rejections of life. When rejection occurs (whether that be … Read more

Question: Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) teaches you how to not get emotionally disturbed but I want to be happy. How will REBT help me find happiness and meaning in life?   Answer: This is a very good question and the answer lies in taking calculated risks and in doing experiments to find a vitally … Read more

Question: Are psychodynamic and other forms of analytical therapy that focus on my past trauma more helpful and better than Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy?   Answer: No. Although it is true that psychodynamic and other forms of therapy focus on your past and early childhood rearing do not assume this is better for you. In … Read more

Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) starts with the premise that fallible humans have the capacity to think rationally but they have an equally strong, if not stronger capacity, to think irrationally and to disturb themselves. All humans are biologically prone to emotional disturbance and our task in life is to effectively respond to our innate … Read more

Use the ABC model of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy to think sensibly about your partner’s misbehavior. A stands for activating event. B stands for beliefs. C stands for emotional and behavioral consequences. Look for the Musts/Shoulds/Oughts/Have tos that constitute rigid thinking at point B. This is known as Demandingness in REBT. Also look for the … Read more

In Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy we teach that there are four irrational beliefs. The primary irrational belief is known as demandingness. An example would be to think that a certain bad event must not exist. REBT theory teaches that once you make a demand you are also likely to engage in one of three additional … Read more

All people have goals, purposes and values. The pursuit of these things produces a sense of accomplishment, achievement, and personal meaning. Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy is pretty much unique in its emphasis on rating the progress one makes towards these personal goals, purposes, and values while encouraging the elimination of the rating of the self or the … Read more

We all want to have meaningful jobs. It is ideal when we can earn a living and enjoy the tasks inherent in doing so. However, this is not always or perhaps usually the case. We often have aspects of work that we dislike. I recommend that you go to work each day with a realistic … Read more

This may seem paradoxical but each partner in a marriage or love relationship would be better off if they expected incompatibility, emotional disturbance, moodiness, counterproductive behavior, and general irrationality. After all each partner is a highly fallible human. If you expect irrationality and misbehavior you will be in a much better frame of mind than if you … Read more