Question: Are psychodynamic and other forms of analytical therapy that focus on my past trauma more helpful and better than Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy?   Answer: No. Although it is true that psychodynamic and other forms of therapy focus on your past and early childhood rearing do not assume this is better for you. In … Read more

Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) starts with the premise that fallible humans have the capacity to think rationally but they have an equally strong, if not stronger capacity, to think irrationally and to disturb themselves. All humans are biologically prone to emotional disturbance and our task in life is to effectively respond to our innate … Read more

Use the ABC model of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy to think sensibly about your partner’s misbehavior. A stands for activating event. B stands for beliefs. C stands for emotional and behavioral consequences. Look for the Musts/Shoulds/Oughts/Have tos that constitute rigid thinking at point B. This is known as Demandingness in REBT. Also look for the … Read more

In Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy we teach that there are four irrational beliefs. The primary irrational belief is known as demandingness. An example would be to think that a certain bad event must not exist. REBT theory teaches that once you make a demand you are also likely to engage in one of three additional … Read more

All people have goals, purposes and values. The pursuit of these things produces a sense of accomplishment, achievement, and personal meaning. Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy is pretty much unique in its emphasis on rating the progress one makes towards these personal goals, purposes, and values while encouraging the elimination of the rating of the self or the … Read more

We all want to have meaningful jobs. It is ideal when we can earn a living and enjoy the tasks inherent in doing so. However, this is not always or perhaps usually the case. We often have aspects of work that we dislike. I recommend that you go to work each day with a realistic … Read more

This may seem paradoxical but each partner in a marriage or love relationship would be better off if they expected incompatibility, emotional disturbance, moodiness, counterproductive behavior, and general irrationality. After all each partner is a highly fallible human. If you expect irrationality and misbehavior you will be in a much better frame of mind than if you … Read more

In Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) we point out that it is healthy and actually helpful to feel certain negative emotions. Here is the REBT list of healthy negative emotions: Concern Sadness Remorse Disappointment  and displeasure Sorrow  Healthy anger and annoyance Healthy jealousy Healthy envy Depending upon the situation you will feel one of these … Read more

People misbehave this is true. They will say things we do not like to hear, act in ways we find distasteful and hold a point of view that justifies their behavior. They can be moody and sometimes mean. REBT does not deny that people regularly do all sorts of distasteful, bad, and even very, very … Read more

Change what you can change about yourself, others and the world while accepting what you cannot change. Have high frustration tolerance for yourself, others and the world. Things generally take more time and effort than we wish. This is too bad. Remain responsible for your emotional responses at all times. Keep your ego out of … Read more