People often claim that other people push their buttons.  This is a very unsophisticated way of looking at the emotional upset you feel.  Our colleagues at work and our family members will do things we do not like.  However, even when people do things that you strongly dislike they are not pushing your buttons.  The … Read more

In Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy we speak of unconditional self-acceptance (USA), unconditional other-acceptance (UOA), and unconditional life-acceptance (ULA). Today I will discuss the value of showing other people unconditional other-acceptance and how it relates to unconditional self-acceptance and the principle of emotional responsibility.   When we have unconditional other-acceptance we avoid feeling self-defeating emotions when … Read more

In Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy we teach people to question their rigid self-defeating beliefs which give rise to self-defeating emotions and behaviors. We call this process disputing your irrational beliefs. When you dispute your irrational beliefs you are attempting to expose the self-defeating nature of these beliefs. You also are questioning the logic behind your beliefs. You … Read more

Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy  teaches unconditional self-acceptance. Most people have conditional self-acceptance. Conditional self-acceptance is a belief system based upon meeting some standard. One holds beliefs like:   1. I am acceptable primarily when I do well. When I do poorly, make mistakes, or error I am a bad person, less worthwhile, or less good. … Read more

Sometimes fallible humans misperceive reality and have a bias towards the negative. Many cognitive behavioral therapies will point out to you how your self-defeating moods are often the result of cognitive distortions. This is fine as sometimes we do not take into account all the available data and jump to erroneous conclusions. Fallible humans sometimes distort … Read more

Some of the main and most useful principles of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) are pretty easy to understand. These core concepts include unconditional self-acceptance, discomfort and frustration tolerance, uncertainty tolerance, and having a flexible mindset towards ourselves, others and the world. The cardinal principal of emotional responsibility is not terribly difficult to understand as … Read more

Remember you make yourself upset about what others do or fail to do as well as the hassles and adversities that life throws in your way. It does not make you upset. You make yourself upset about it. This is the principal of emotional responsibility. When you accept and implement this REBT principal a a great deal in life … Read more

Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) emphases the important role language plays in emotional disturbance. In REBT we encourage you to look for your rigid beliefs as it is psychological rigidity that lies at the core of emotional disturbance. We express our rigid beliefs with words like should, ought, and must. Using these words as we think about … Read more

Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy is unique in that it does not want you merely to feel better but it encourages you to ensure long term well-being by making a profound philosophical shift. This is a lofty goal but worthy of effort. To make such a profound philosophical shift do the following:   1. Accept the … Read more

Consider experimenting with the following. First thing each morning quickly make two lists. Make a “morning” agenda and an “afternoon” agenda. Attempt to place more uncomfortable and dreaded items on the morning agenda. Have your priorities. Consider what is important to you. That is what goes on the list.   Now here is the important part. … Read more