Rational Expectations for Fallible Humans

Rational Expectations for Fallible Humans 7/13/2016 The philosophy of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy encourages you to see all humans as fallible beings. There are no super-humans and no sub-humans. Therefore, I encourage you to rate only what people do but avoid rating, summing up the entire person for what they do or fail to do. […]

“Anger, if not restrained, is frequently more hurtful to us than the injury that provokes it.”- Seneca

“Anger, if not restrained, is frequently more hurtful to us than the injury that provokes it.”- Seneca​ 6/14/2016 Anger is an incredibly self-defeating negative emotion. If you want to not be angry give up the “absolute shoulds, musts, and have to’s” that are at the core of your anger and emotional disturbance. In Rational Emotive […]

Overcoming Ego Anxiety and Discomfort Anxiety

Overcoming Ego Anxiety and Discomfort Anxiety 5/23/2016 ​Assume that anxiety is the result of rigid and extreme beliefs about perceived threats. One type of anxiety, called ego anxiety, has to do with rigid and extreme beliefs about anticipated disapproval or criticism from significant others. The other type of anxiety, discomfort anxiety, has to do with rigid and extreme beliefs about situations or […]

Overcoming Your Fear of Failure

​Some people report that they have anxiety due to a fear of failure. This fear often leads the individual to avoid taking what we in REBT refer to as calculated risks. Calculated risks are trying things that have a benefit to the person if they are achieved but are not sure bets of occurring. Due … Read more

The Value of Deliberately Seeking Discomfort

A core idea of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is the concept of discomfort disturbance. REBT is the one cognitive behavior therapy that puts the issue of emotional disturbance over being uncomfortable front and center in psychotherapy. Ellis argued the human condition is to desire to seek a constant state of comfort. There is nothing … Read more

The Race to Anger You Want to Lose

Unhealthy anger comes from holding a rigid and extreme belief about a wish, want, or value you have. So you might think “I wish to be treated fairly AND you absolutely must do so.” REBT maintains anger is a very self-destructive human emotion. It blinds the holder of anger and also corrodes human relationships. It also has a commanding, arrogant, and righteous quality … Read more

“You can only be a ‘victim’ of yourself. It’s all how you discipline your mind.” – Epictetus

REBT (Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy) is based on the teachings of Stoic philosophers and is a mix of ancient and modern philosophy packaged for coping with problems of everyday living. The first principle of REBT is known as the Principle of Emotional Responsibility. This principle states that you largely make yourself upset. You bring to … Read more

You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength. Marcus Aurelius

“You can only be a ‘victim’ of yourself. It’s all how you discipline your mind.” – Epictetus 2/23/2016 REBT (Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy) is based on the teachings of Stoic philosophers and is a mix of ancient and modern philosophy packaged for coping with problems of everyday living. The first principle of REBT is known as […]

A Counterintuitive Way to Improve Relationship Difficulties

A Counterintuitive Way to Improve Relationship Difficulties 1/14/2016 Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) gives couples who seek help for a problematic relationship some counterintuitive advice. In REBT couples counseling I ask a simple question – “If you could change two things about yourself that would help this relationship what would they be?” This question redirects […]