Walter J. Matweychuk, Ph.D. No slavery is more worthy of scorn than one which is self-imposed. Whenever we hold an attitude that includes absolutistic musts, shoulds, have to’s, need to’s and oughts we create self-imposed emotional and behavioral slavery. For example: I need his or her and love and approval. – (approval and love slavery) vs. I want his or … Read more
He Who Angers Thyself Defeats Thyself 2/17/2017 Anger is nearly always self-defeating. It blocks creativity and persistence at solving problems. It leads to impulsive behavior that feels good in the short run but often has very negative consequences in the long run. It corrodes relationships or causes them to end suddenly in heated argument. Anger […]
There are a few ideas in Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy which I tend to talk about all day long with nearly all of my patients. We apply them to different problems but these are core principles that tend to be relevant regardless of the particular details. These principles are listed below for you to review: … Read more
I encourage you to accept that force and energy are required for emotional behavioral change. The human condition is such that we resist changing. If we are to overcome self-defeating behaviors, emotions, and attitudes we have to accept that it will require effort, lots of it!Yes REBT is unique in how we do not sugarcoat … Read more
Consistent with both Stoic Philosophy and Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy it is recommended that you focus on what you can control. You can control your effort and your attitudes. You cannot control the outcome of things. When it comes to doing well in any particular test of performance strive to do well AND strive to … Read more
Here is an attitude many hold and clearly leads to emotional disturbance: “Other people, particularly those I have cared for and treated well, absolutely must treat me kindly and fairly, or else they are rotten individuals who deserve to suffer!”Now reflect on these three questions: 1. When I hold the attitude “Other people, particularly those I … Read more
Strive to practice, practice, and practice some more REBT attitudes every day. Homework is the most important ingredient to therapeutic success. At my site you can, at no cost, read about and learn REBT in different ways. You can listen to REBT audio and watch REBT video on the general theory and practice of REBT. You can watch video on how to … Read more
REBT points out that all learning which we take from our parents and culture is on top of our biology. It is our biological nature to experience inertia. When we are at rest it is easier to stay at rest than to get moving and doing something that is good to do. We prefer to … Read more
How to Stop Awfulizing & Start Coping 12/30/2016 Strive to work on one of the more challenging irrational and self-defeating attitudinal processes in REBT known as awfulizing. People often resist this self-helping recommendation but if you give it real thought and work with it you will reap many benefits. With this concept, we mean that […]
Surviving Thanksgiving Day with Difficult Family Members 11/23/2016 As the holidays approach it is likely you will find yourself sitting around the dining room table with family who may invite you to upset yourself. Nature foists our mother, father, sister, or brother upon us. We have no say in the matter. […]
