Walter J. Matweychuk, Ph.D. A Counterintuitive Way to Improve Relationship Difficulties 1/14/2016 Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) gives couples who seek help for a problematic relationship some counterintuitive advice. In REBT couples counseling I ask a simple question – “If you could change two things about yourself that would help this relationship what would they be?” This question redirects […]
People will live far better with themselves and others if they abandon the concept of self-esteem and adopt the concepts of Unconditional Self and Other Acceptance. People create their own emotional disturbance by evaluating both what they and others do and then conditionally accepting themselves and others if and only if they do well. This … Read more
23 Sensible Ideas REBT Teaches 12/30/2015 1. Your beliefs matter. They have consequences. When Adversity strikes you bring Beliefs to the Adversity and there are emotional Consequences. This is the famous ABC model of Emotion pioneered by Albert Ellis. 2. Rigid and Extreme beliefs are at the core of emotional disturbance while Flexible and Non-extreme […]
Manage Your Anger Before It Manages You 9/25/2015 “Deciding to live your life with less anger may be one of the most important decisions you will ever make.” – Albert Ellis, Ph.D. In REBT I teach that anger is an extremely self-defeating emotion. It is easy for humans to experience anger but this does not […]
Remember people do what they do. If you respond with righteous, dogmatic anger that self-defeating emotion is constructed by you. This is not to blame you or condemn you but to encourage you to adopt the Principle of Emotional Responsibility. Remind yourself that others give you an opportunity to make yourself upset. Your rigid musts, … Read more
Remember the principle of Emotional Responsibility which is the foundation of REBT philosophy. It is a liberating principle if you push yourself to implement it. Other people only give you an opportunity to get disturbed and upset. YOU make yourself upset over what other people do or fail to do. Rather than trying to change … Read more
Three Core Ideas of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBTcbt) 10/5/2015 REBT has a few core ideas. The big three are: 1. The principle of Emotional Responsibility – You make yourself upset over the misbehavior of others. You make yourself angry, hurt, etc. Hurt is anger reserved for loved ones. Anger and hurt never make things […]
The theory of REBT places a strong emphasis on personal responsibility, self-acceptance, and self-direction. I encourage you to hold yourself personally responsible for your self-defeating emotional and behavioral reactions in response to the adversities of life. I encourage you to unconditionally accept yourself even when others reject you or disapprove of you. I encourage you … Read more
REBT encourages you to adopt the principle of emotional responsibility. This is the notion that other people provide us with an opportunity to experience upset. It is the beliefs we hold ABOUT what they do which lead to our emotional upset. In short you make yourself upset over the misbehavior of other people. Keep your … Read more
Work on rating behavior not rating people as people. So rate what you like about what you and others do. Rate what you do not like about what you and other people do. When we rate behaviors and characteristics of people we will tend not to experience unhealthy anger, guilt, shame, or unhealthy envy. This … Read more
