When Do I Change My Partner? On Living Well with Your Fallible Partner

Couples that live well together take REBT’s Principle of Emotional Responsibility quite seriously. They consistently strive to be responsible for their own emotional reactions despite the actions and misbehavior of their partner. They maintain a grip on their preferences and ask for what they want and desire. While taking responsibility for their emotional reactions and remaining flexible they negotiate for what they want. They strive to never demand they have their desires fulfilled. This allows couples to avoid the anger and hurt that corrodes love and intimate relationships. 

Only when they have implemented the principle of emotional responsibility for some time and have remained flexible and attempted to negotiate with their partner might it be prudent to consider exiting the relationship. First change you by implementing the principle of emotional responsibility and see if you can live better and happily with your present partner. When you have done all the work you possibly can on implementing the principal of emotional responsibility, and negotiating for what you want and desire, and are still not getting enough of what you ”want and desire” from the relationship is it prudent to evaluate the pros and cons of exiting and seeking new love. There are no perfect people to love, only highly fallible humans with different tradeoffs, and we never have to disturb ourselves about this.

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