A core idea of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy is to avoid esteeming yourself. Self-esteem means valuing the self. You then value yourself based on material possessions, relationships, achievements, and many other things. Thinking in this way puts you on an emotional roller coaster of good feelings linked to the self and bad feelings linked to … Read more

It is customary to reflect upon the past year and chart a course for the year ahead. I suggest you consider the below four resolutions as you plan for 2023: 1. A commitment to deepening your unconditional self-acceptance and learning how to do things better, not perfectly. 2. A commitment to furthering your unconditional other-acceptance … Read more

You never have to get what you want, regardless of how badly you want it. You do not live in a utopian world where you can always have what you want. Other people will often not cooperate with you. They do not have to do so even when it would be better if they did. … Read more

Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) has much to offer because it emphasizes precision in language and thought. In REBT, we encourage you to become emotionally literate and understand the eight basic negative emotions. Each of the eight has a healthy and unhealthy version. REBT teaches that when you face a negative state of affairs, you … Read more

Have you ever said to yourself, “I am a fool?” You might have failed to meet a standard and then classified yourself as such. We have structured our language on the notions that a thing is a thing and that something cannot be both one thing and not that thing. From there, we think in … Read more

REBT is a philosophy aiming to minimize emotional disturbance and maximize happiness. REBT philosophy teaches people to be responsible for their lives and lead self-directed lives to achieve these hedonistic aims. Rather than count on others, learn to count on yourself. People are creatures of habit. If we habitually allow ourselves to rely on others … Read more

If you are like some people, you may have difficulty with change. We tend to think of the world and life as being static in quality and ourselves as having a fixed quality. Many of us may consider our personalities set and conclude we do not evolve. However, in REBT, we have a process view … Read more

While training at the Albert Ellis Institute in 1988, I co-led a two-hour group with him. It was a training requirement to do this. It was a wonderful learning experience. Albert had all these memorable sayings that I still remember. One has stuck with me over the years because it is so helpful in dealing … Read more

The goal of REBT is not merely to help you feel better but to get better in a self-sustaining way. REBT teaches you healthy attitudes AND a process of emotional self-correction for self-therapy when you are in a state of emotional disturbance. My experience has been that people acquire healthier attitudes relatively easier than learning … Read more

We live in a highly technological world where machines are ubiquitous in our lives. This widespread presence of devices and technology influences how we see ourselves. Some people apply the machine model to the human condition. We might say, “That person pushes my buttons.” This statement suggests the individual holds a model that they are a mechanical … Read more