As you think about things and also when you speak to others reflect on how you describe what is going on. Do you think and say “He made me so mad!” or do you think and say “I made myself so mad about what he did!” In REBT we teach people how to think in a sensible way in … Read more

Learning to think in a more self-enhancing way is difficult. People are prone to sloppy thinking. As fallible humans we easily jump to false conclusions, overgeneralize, look at things in categorical ways and make predictions we are certain will occur when in fact none of us are able to predict the future with accuracy.   … Read more

I distinguish between practical solutions and philosophical solutions in Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy. Recall the ABC model of REBT. The letter “A” stands for adversity. B stands for beliefs about your Adversity. The letter “C” stands for your consequential self-defeating emotions about your adversity, which according to REBT theory stem largely from your beliefs.   … Read more

Strive to improve your frustration tolerance each day. It is the human condition to both want and rigidly demand that we get what we want on our terms. For most people this demanding only occurs with a few goals but when it does, it is quite handicapping. The demands we often make are for our … Read more

My good friend and REBT colleague Dr. Windy Dryden is an expert on self-discipline. He makes the point that there are three main principles to self-discipline:   “It is worth doing.” “I am worth doing it for.” “I only make it harder for myself if I don’t do it.” In Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy we … Read more

REBT is against all forms of perfectionism. Humans may at times be capable of doing wonderful things but they are highly imperfect beings. When we strive to be perfect by holding the belief “I must do this perfectly well” we tend to experience performance anxiety. This emotion rarely helps us perform at our very best. … Read more

REBT philosophy encourages passion without dogma. When you pursue a goal (e.g. love, career success, fitness, health, wealth, harmony with family) you are likely to encounter obstacles. You then have a choice as to how you think about the obstacles.  You may think in a passionate but flexible way such as “I badly want to … Read more

In REBT, we encourage people to develop unconditional self-acceptance. This involves accepting yourself warts and all. This is different from self-esteem. Self-acceptance involves accepting yourself both when you do well and when you do poorly. It involves no rating of the “self”. You do not rank the “self” next to the “self” of others even … Read more

REBT encourages acceptance. Acceptance is the antidote for emotional upset. Acceptance does not mean liking what has occurred or resignation. Acceptance means acknowledging that a negative state of affairs has taken place and for the time it exists one is able to emotionally tolerate its existence and live on somewhat happily despite its existence. This … Read more