“Be ruthless! Dictate to your mind instead of allowing it to dictate to you.” – Albert Ellis, Ph.D

As for the past — forget it. The past is dead; long live the future! – Albert Ellis

Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy emphasizes choice. Humans are able to choose how they will think, feel, and behave in response to the challenges and opportunities they face. As the New Year approaches reflect on the following questions:   When you encounter problems, will you blame external conditions for your self-defeating emotions? Alternatively, will you see … Read more

“The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.” – Albert Ellis

People often claim that other people push their buttons.  This is a very unsophisticated way of looking at the emotional upset you feel.  Our colleagues at work and our family members will do things we do not like.  However, even when people do things that you strongly dislike they are not pushing your buttons.  The … Read more

In Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy we speak of unconditional self-acceptance (USA), unconditional other-acceptance (UOA), and unconditional life-acceptance (ULA). Today I will discuss the value of showing other people unconditional other-acceptance and how it relates to unconditional self-acceptance and the principle of emotional responsibility.   When we have unconditional other-acceptance we avoid feeling self-defeating emotions when … Read more

In Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy we teach people to question their rigid self-defeating beliefs which give rise to self-defeating emotions and behaviors. We call this process disputing your irrational beliefs. When you dispute your irrational beliefs you are attempting to expose the self-defeating nature of these beliefs. You also are questioning the logic behind your beliefs. You … Read more

Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy  teaches unconditional self-acceptance. Most people have conditional self-acceptance. Conditional self-acceptance is a belief system based upon meeting some standard. One holds beliefs like:   1. I am acceptable primarily when I do well. When I do poorly, make mistakes, or error I am a bad person, less worthwhile, or less good. … Read more

Sometimes fallible humans misperceive reality and have a bias towards the negative. Many cognitive behavioral therapies will point out to you how your self-defeating moods are often the result of cognitive distortions. This is fine as sometimes we do not take into account all the available data and jump to erroneous conclusions. Fallible humans sometimes distort … Read more

Some of the main and most useful principles of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) are pretty easy to understand. These core concepts include unconditional self-acceptance, discomfort and frustration tolerance, uncertainty tolerance, and having a flexible mindset towards ourselves, others and the world. The cardinal principal of emotional responsibility is not terribly difficult to understand as … Read more