People want quick and lasting relief. Our society typically attempts to give us what we badly want in the form of   ·        Medication relief ·        Fixing the external situation or problem often through some new technology ·        Distraction from the problem and one’s reaction to it ·        Reassurance that bad events won’t occur Life … Read more

In Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) we attempt to teach people how to control their emotions and to have healthy negative emotions when they do not get what they want. However, REBT also helps people to change what can be changed. Fallible humans often hold pessimistic beliefs about achieving goals. These pessimistic beliefs hold them … Read more

Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is very much against perfectionism in all its forms. People who have perfectionist beliefs tend to be unhappy, rarely satisfied, and often anxious. They often avoid work because they cannot do it perfectly or spend too much time doing something as they over prepare in order to try to do … Read more

“Be ruthless! Dictate to your mind instead of allowing it to dictate to you.” – Albert Ellis, Ph.D

As for the past — forget it. The past is dead; long live the future! – Albert Ellis

Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy emphasizes choice. Humans are able to choose how they will think, feel, and behave in response to the challenges and opportunities they face. As the New Year approaches reflect on the following questions:   When you encounter problems, will you blame external conditions for your self-defeating emotions? Alternatively, will you see … Read more

“The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.” – Albert Ellis

People often claim that other people push their buttons.  This is a very unsophisticated way of looking at the emotional upset you feel.  Our colleagues at work and our family members will do things we do not like.  However, even when people do things that you strongly dislike they are not pushing your buttons.  The … Read more

In Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy we speak of unconditional self-acceptance (USA), unconditional other-acceptance (UOA), and unconditional life-acceptance (ULA). Today I will discuss the value of showing other people unconditional other-acceptance and how it relates to unconditional self-acceptance and the principle of emotional responsibility.   When we have unconditional other-acceptance we avoid feeling self-defeating emotions when … Read more

In Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy we teach people to question their rigid self-defeating beliefs which give rise to self-defeating emotions and behaviors. We call this process disputing your irrational beliefs. When you dispute your irrational beliefs you are attempting to expose the self-defeating nature of these beliefs. You also are questioning the logic behind your beliefs. You … Read more