Often during my psychotherapy and coaching sessions I hear it said that life and other people have not met my client’s expectations. When this occurs my client often reports healthy feelings of disappointment and sadness. Unfortunately, mixed in with such disappointment and sadness can be unhealthy feelings. Feelings such as unhealthy anger, bitterness, depression and … Read more
My Rolls Royce Shame Attack 7/8/2014 In Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) we encourage you to not only talk the rational talk but to walk the rational talk. It is important not only hold rational beliefs but to be able to act on your rational beliefs. Shame is a feeling that holds people back. It […]
Mind Reading, Fortune Telling and Unwavering Acceptance When All Else Fails 6/4/2014 In Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) we remind our clients that needless emotional upset may be experienced when we engage in what is known as mind reading thinking error. The mind reading error involves making a hypothesis about what someone else is thinking […]
In Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) I show people how to not only address the self-defeating emotional reactions that they feel in response to adversity but I also help them with what is called their “upset about upset”. There are numerous ways that fallible humans upset themselves about their emotional upset. One easy to understand … Read more
Tomorrow May 9th I will be doing two lectures in New York City at the Albert Ellis Institute. The first is REBT/CBT: Similarities and Differences (1:30 pm – 4:30 pm). This is a three hour workshop for professionals where I will be discussing the therapy of Aaron T. Beck the founder of Beck’s Cognitive Behavior … Read more
Change is never comfortable. However, with work and practice you can train yourself to semiautomatically remain minimally disturbed for the rest of your life. Train yourself to see that rejection is sad but not a holy horror. See that to error is human and strive to learn from mistakes and erroneous assumptions. Push yourself to … Read more
I wanted to share with my blog readers a great resource for college students. The resource is ULifeline.org and it is a place where college students can learn about various emotional and behavioral problems they encounter. The site integrates appealing videos and covers topics like alcohol and drugs, anxiety disorders, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, … Read more
Research has suggested that nearly 25% of college students arrive on campus with pre-existing mental health, emotional, or behavioral problems. Surveys of college students show that only 20% of students would consider using the college counseling services available to them through their college counseling center. There are approximately 1100 suicides each year by college students … Read more
In Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) we teach tolerance and unconditional acceptance of all people. I teach that people are people. There are no absolutes and there is no better place to apply this humanistic and sensible approach than to the area of human sexuality and identity. Humans are sexual beings with diverse identities and … Read more
There is an old Chinese proverb that says “Two thirds of what a person sees exists behind that person’s eyes.” REBT encourages people to see that rigid, absolute beliefs in the form of rigid musts and absolute shoulds lie at the core of emotional disturbance. If we think “This person absolutely should be as I want them … Read more
