Unhealthy anger comes from holding a rigid and extreme belief about a wish, want, or value you have. So you might think “I wish to be treated fairly AND you absolutely must do so.” REBT maintains anger is a very self-destructive human emotion. It blinds the holder of anger and also corrodes human relationships. It also has a commanding, arrogant, and righteous quality … Read more
Overcoming Your Fear of Failure 3/22/2016 Some people report that they have anxiety due to a fear of failure. This fear often leads the individual to avoid taking what we in REBT refer to as calculated risks. Calculated risks are trying things that have a benefit to the person if they are achieved but are […]
REBT (Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy) is based on the teachings of Stoic philosophers and is a mix of ancient and modern philosophy packaged for coping with problems of everyday living. The first principle of REBT is known as the Principle of Emotional Responsibility. This principle states that you largely make yourself upset. You bring to … Read more
“You can only be a ‘victim’ of yourself. It’s all how you discipline your mind.” – Epictetus 2/23/2016 REBT (Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy) is based on the teachings of Stoic philosophers and is a mix of ancient and modern philosophy packaged for coping with problems of everyday living. The first principle of REBT is known as […]
A Counterintuitive Way to Improve Relationship Difficulties 1/14/2016 Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) gives couples who seek help for a problematic relationship some counterintuitive advice. In REBT couples counseling I ask a simple question – “If you could change two things about yourself that would help this relationship what would they be?” This question redirects […]
People will live far better with themselves and others if they abandon the concept of self-esteem and adopt the concepts of Unconditional Self and Other Acceptance. People create their own emotional disturbance by evaluating both what they and others do and then conditionally accepting themselves and others if and only if they do well. This … Read more
23 Sensible Ideas REBT Teaches 12/30/2015 1. Your beliefs matter. They have consequences. When Adversity strikes you bring Beliefs to the Adversity and there are emotional Consequences. This is the famous ABC model of Emotion pioneered by Albert Ellis. 2. Rigid and Extreme beliefs are at the core of emotional disturbance while Flexible and Non-extreme […]
Manage Your Anger Before It Manages You 9/25/2015 “Deciding to live your life with less anger may be one of the most important decisions you will ever make.” – Albert Ellis, Ph.D. In REBT I teach that anger is an extremely self-defeating emotion. It is easy for humans to experience anger but this does not […]
Remember people do what they do. If you respond with righteous, dogmatic anger that self-defeating emotion is constructed by you. This is not to blame you or condemn you but to encourage you to adopt the Principle of Emotional Responsibility. Remind yourself that others give you an opportunity to make yourself upset. Your rigid musts, … Read more
Remember the principle of Emotional Responsibility which is the foundation of REBT philosophy. It is a liberating principle if you push yourself to implement it. Other people only give you an opportunity to get disturbed and upset. YOU make yourself upset over what other people do or fail to do. Rather than trying to change … Read more
