Rigid attitudes like “You must treat me nicely” or “Life conditions must be relatively hassle-free and fair to me” do not change reality. These rigid attitudes do change OUR emotional reaction to reality. Most people quickly see this point and how flexible attitudes do not clash with reality. For example, “I want you to treat me nicely but you do … Read more
Let us face it we all get rejected. Learning to live well with rejection is an essential emotional skill if you are planning on experiencing emotional health over the course of your life. Below is an ABC analysis of rejection to help you better understand how awfulizing will lead to an unhealthy emotional reaction to … Read more
Here is a rigid, self-defeating, irrational attitude that fallible humans commonly use to create emotional disturbance when the going gets rough in life: “The world and my living conditions must be comfortable, gratifying, and just, providing me with all that I want in life.” REBT Disputing Questions: Where is it written that the world and … Read more
Here is a rigid attitude that often is at the core of unhealthy anger which reduces your leverage for dealing with other people’s misbehavior: “Other people must treat me fairly, kindly, and well.” REBT Disputing Questions: Do other people always get treated fairly, kindly, and well by the people in their lives? If not then … Read more
Here an unhealthy attitude that often leads to a great deal of emotional pain, especially anxiety: “I must do well and be loved and approved by others.” REBT disputing questions: Do I want to do well or do I absolutely need to do well? Does holding the attitude I must do well and be loved … Read more
Rational Expectations for Fallible Humans 7/13/2016 The philosophy of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy encourages you to see all humans as fallible beings. There are no super-humans and no sub-humans. Therefore, I encourage you to rate only what people do but avoid rating, summing up the entire person for what they do or fail to do. […]
“Anger, if not restrained, is frequently more hurtful to us than the injury that provokes it.”- Seneca 6/14/2016 Anger is an incredibly self-defeating negative emotion. If you want to not be angry give up the “absolute shoulds, musts, and have to’s” that are at the core of your anger and emotional disturbance. In Rational Emotive […]
Overcoming Ego Anxiety and Discomfort Anxiety 5/23/2016 Assume that anxiety is the result of rigid and extreme beliefs about perceived threats. One type of anxiety, called ego anxiety, has to do with rigid and extreme beliefs about anticipated disapproval or criticism from significant others. The other type of anxiety, discomfort anxiety, has to do with rigid and extreme beliefs about situations or […]
Some people report that they have anxiety due to a fear of failure. This fear often leads the individual to avoid taking what we in REBT refer to as calculated risks. Calculated risks are trying things that have a benefit to the person if they are achieved but are not sure bets of occurring. Due … Read more
A core idea of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is the concept of discomfort disturbance. REBT is the one cognitive behavior therapy that puts the issue of emotional disturbance over being uncomfortable front and center in psychotherapy. Ellis argued the human condition is to desire to seek a constant state of comfort. There is nothing … Read more
