There is a clear pattern I see between the people who get better with REBT and those who do not. Active participation and active engagement with REBT separates the two groups.   You need to ACTIVELY question and dispute your thinking. Too many people get in an unhealthy, unproductive mood or engage in a self-defeating … Read more

If you wish to take control over your emotional reactions to adversity and thereby have greater control over your life forcefully remind yourself of the three following things: ​ 1. I make myself upset. It does not just happen to me.   2. I do not have to make myself upset – I have choice in how I react. 3. … Read more

Keep reminding yourself that you disturb yourself when progress towards your cherished goals is slow or difficult to achieve. Strongly tell yourself at the tempting moment when you want to quit and avoid staying the course:   “Progress does not absolutely have to be quick and easy as I want it to be. I disturb … Read more

Keep reminding yourself that you disturb yourself. Strongly tell yourself at that tempting moment when you want to engage in irrational thinking, irrational emoting and self-defeating whining:   “Things do not absolutely have to be as I want them to be. I disturb myself by demanding reality to be as I think it absolutely should … Read more

Nothing AND no one have to be the way I want them to be. ​This is the bottom line. The sooner we all get this into our thick, fallible heads the more serenity we all will enjoy and perhaps we all will start working together a bit better. Try it!

Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy appeals to me, and hopefully sooner or later to you as well, because it is a liberating philosophy AND psychotherapy. It is self-liberating. It emphasizes choice, self-responsibility from emotional disturbance and self-direction. This is why I practice it on myself and teach it to others. The premise in REBT is that … Read more

People often give lip service to rational thinking and the Principle of Emotional Responsibility. They will agree that adversity in and of itself is insufficient for causing emotional upset when they are successful at using the ABC model and the Principle of Emotional Responsibility. However, sometimes a person will argue that under some conditions some … Read more

An important distinction I make with my patients is between healthy and unhealthy dissatisfaction. Depending on the context I may call it a healthy and unhealthy unhappiness. I go on to teach that it is good and useful to experience this state of healthy dissatisfaction when we are blocked in the pursuit of our goals … Read more

People can come to have a good understanding of REBT in a fairly short period of time. The core ideas of REBT are fairly straightforward. In a few sessions with me and/or after reading a book by Al Ellis or Windy Dryden you will understand how REBT explains your emotional and behavioral disturbance. That is … Read more

Remember all definitions of a person’s worth are arbitrary definitions. There are no standards for judging a person’s essential worth and therefore rating the self is not valid. More importantly it is self-inflicted pain. Rate the parts of you; rate the behaviors you do, and work to modify those parts and behaviors that get in … Read more