It is important that I remind you how hard it is to change. People sometimes get down because they are finding it difficult to change and they think REBT is failing them. REBT is not failing you. This is true because nature has not made change an easy accomplishment. Change is new learning and the … Read more
Here is a rational attitude which will help you cultivate high uncertainty tolerance and enable you to take calculated risks: I want certainty that something will OR will not happen BUT I do not need certainty. We live in a world of probability where absolute certainty does not exist. I will do what I … Read more
There are few things REBT teaches you and encourages you to work on: 1. Building unconditional self-acceptance and other-acceptance 2. Building discomfort and frustration tolerance 3. Learning to be responsible for your emotions and your behavioral reactions to disappointments, failures, and adversity. Don’t blame your reactions on events or other people. This is a … Read more
The Seductive Emotion of Anger 4/26/2017 In the morning anticipate adversities and situations which will tempt an angry response from you. By thinking in advance you can formulate responses that will help you to respond effectively, not angrily, to such challenges. Remember that people’s misbehavior, however you choose to define misbehavior, contributes but does not ever […]
Keep working on your low discomfort tolerance. Impatience is self-defeating. Life takes time. Stay with a goal and you will achieve it or come real close which will have ample rewards. The goals we generally fail at are the ones we quit on. Make your mantra “It is difficult and uncomfortable to sustain effort but not … Read more
Start each morning with the assumption that a few things will occur today: 1. Assume something or someone will frustrate you in some way. They will stand in your way, block you or slow you down. 2. Assume that you are likely to respond well to some of these frustrations but you will also not … Read more
Show Me the Money 3/9/2017 Talk is cheap. It is easy to parrot the philosophy of REBT. It is very easy for anyone to say the following REBT ideas: 1. I disturb myself when I face a difficult challenge. 2. I can accept myself even if I misbehave and then work real hard to curb […]
No slavery is more worthy of scorn than one which is self-imposed. Whenever we hold an attitude that includes absolutistic musts, shoulds, have to’s, need to’s and oughts we create self-imposed emotional and behavioral slavery. For example: I need his or her and love and approval. – (approval and love slavery) vs. I want his or … Read more
He Who Angers Thyself Defeats Thyself 2/17/2017 Anger is nearly always self-defeating. It blocks creativity and persistence at solving problems. It leads to impulsive behavior that feels good in the short run but often has very negative consequences in the long run. It corrodes relationships or causes them to end suddenly in heated argument. Anger […]
There are a few ideas in Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy which I tend to talk about all day long with nearly all of my patients. We apply them to different problems but these are core principles that tend to be relevant regardless of the particular details. These principles are listed below for you to review: … Read more
