When we use the word “am” which we are naturally inclined to do, we set ourselves up to feel unhealthy negative emotions, also known as emotional disturbance. When we humans use the verb to be and say, “I am good” or “I am bad” we tend to misrepresent reality by overgeneralizing and thereby set the stage for emotional disturbance (e.g. shame, … Read more
Albert Ellis, the originator of REBT, often said: “People live their lives to prove themselves instead of enjoying themselves.” In REBT we argue that there are no absolutes other than that you MUST someday die. Well, for now, this appears to be the case but someday even dying could be optional. Assuming that we must die, we … Read more
“Why, then, ’tis none to you, for there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so. To me it is a prison. Well, then it isn’t one to you, since nothing is really good or bad in itself—it’s all what a person thinks about it. And to me, Denmark is a prison.“ Hamlet (Act 2, Scene … Read more
The Citadel of the Mind 11/27/2017 “The mind, unconquered by violent passions, is a citadel, for a man has no fortress more impregnable in which to find refuge and remain safe forever.” Marcus Aurelius (Meditations, 8.48) Marcus Aurelius knew how to help himself. He looked within instead of looking outside of himself for strength. […]
As Thanksgiving approaches it is important to work on holding rational attitudes towards family members. While working with patients all day long I am struck by the fact that roughly 90% of the problems people seek help with is their emotional reactions to other people. People seem to almost endlessly “disturb themselves” over the things others do … Read more
Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy and Stoic Philosophy, the philosophy REBT is derived from, helps people endure hardship. Here is what I tell myself when facing adversity: “Things never have to be as I want them to be.” You too may wish to remind yourself of this simple healthy attitude.
Control What You Can Control 10/23/2017 Steps to take to help you favorably control your emotions in nearly any situation: 1. Ask what is within my control in facing this adversity or problem and what is outside of my control? 2. Focus on what is under your control. In Stoicism, this is called the Dichotomy of […]
That First “Wow” Moment When REBT and Stoic Philosophy Clicks for You! 9/26/2017 After visiting my elderly mother on Sunday afternoon at the assisted living facility where she resides, the rental car I was using would not start and I was an hour from home. The rental car company first had me try a few […]
Which is your go-to disturbance? Is it ego disturbance or discomfort disturbance? Chances are because you are a flawed human you have both. The good news is that there is a way to deal with these human vulnerabilities. Keep in mind the following things: 1. It is not events that disturb us but our rigid … Read more
Remember to keep up with your REBT self-help. It comes down to use it or lose it. Your biological tendency to upset yourself will cause you to needlessly disturb yourself unless you actively work against doing so. Each day reflect on how well you are managing your emotions and where you might do better. In the … Read more
