Meditate on and keep in mind the following attitude: I want people to be as I want them to be BUT they do not have to be as I want them to be. I want people, especially loved ones, friends, and significant others to treat me as I want them to treat me BUT despite … Read more

​Today ends what is known as the holiday season, and tomorrow most of us will return to work. In the back of our minds as the New Year’s Eve hangover lifts is the notion that the distraction of the holidays is over and we need to face and address our ongoing challenges. The good news … Read more

In Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy we encourage you to develop unconditional life acceptance. There is a great deal in life that we do not like but nevertheless we have a choice as to whether or not we disturb ourselves about that which we do not like. Also in REBT we encourage you to see there … Read more

When we use the word “am” which we are naturally inclined to do, we set ourselves up to feel unhealthy negative emotions, also known as emotional disturbance. When we humans use the verb to be and say, “I am good” or “I am bad” we tend to misrepresent reality by overgeneralizing and thereby set the stage for emotional disturbance (e.g. shame, … Read more

Albert Ellis, the originator of REBT, often said: “People live their lives to prove themselves instead of enjoying themselves.” In REBT we argue that there are no absolutes other than that you MUST someday die. Well, for now, this appears to be the case but someday even dying could be optional. Assuming that we must die, we … Read more

“Why, then, ’tis none to you, for there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so. To me it is a prison. Well, then it isn’t one to you, since nothing is really good or bad in itself—it’s all what a person thinks about it. And to me, Denmark is a prison.“   Hamlet (Act 2, Scene … Read more

As Thanksgiving approaches it is important to work on holding rational attitudes towards family members. While working with patients all day long I am struck by the fact that roughly 90% of the problems people seek help with is their emotional reactions to other people. People seem to almost endlessly “disturb themselves” over the things others do … Read more

Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy and Stoic Philosophy, the philosophy REBT is derived from, helps people endure hardship. Here is what I tell myself when facing adversity: “Things never have to be as I want them to be.” You too may wish to remind yourself of this simple healthy attitude.