As Thanksgiving approaches it is important to work on holding rational attitudes towards family members. While working with patients all day long I am struck by the fact that roughly 90% of the problems people seek help with is their emotional reactions to other people. People seem to almost endlessly “disturb themselves” over the things others do … Read more
Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy and Stoic Philosophy, the philosophy REBT is derived from, helps people endure hardship. Here is what I tell myself when facing adversity: “Things never have to be as I want them to be.” You too may wish to remind yourself of this simple healthy attitude.
Control What You Can Control 10/23/2017 Steps to take to help you favorably control your emotions in nearly any situation: 1. Ask what is within my control in facing this adversity or problem and what is outside of my control? 2. Focus on what is under your control. In Stoicism, this is called the Dichotomy of […]
That First “Wow” Moment When REBT and Stoic Philosophy Clicks for You! 9/26/2017 After visiting my elderly mother on Sunday afternoon at the assisted living facility where she resides, the rental car I was using would not start and I was an hour from home. The rental car company first had me try a few […]
Which is your go-to disturbance? Is it ego disturbance or discomfort disturbance? Chances are because you are a flawed human you have both. The good news is that there is a way to deal with these human vulnerabilities. Keep in mind the following things: 1. It is not events that disturb us but our rigid … Read more
Remember to keep up with your REBT self-help. It comes down to use it or lose it. Your biological tendency to upset yourself will cause you to needlessly disturb yourself unless you actively work against doing so. Each day reflect on how well you are managing your emotions and where you might do better. In the … Read more
There is a clear pattern I see between the people who get better with REBT and those who do not. Active participation and active engagement with REBT separates the two groups. You need to ACTIVELY question and dispute your thinking. Too many people get in an unhealthy, unproductive mood or engage in a self-defeating … Read more
If you wish to take control over your emotional reactions to adversity and thereby have greater control over your life forcefully remind yourself of the three following things: 1. I make myself upset. It does not just happen to me. 2. I do not have to make myself upset – I have choice in how I react. 3. … Read more
Keep reminding yourself that you disturb yourself when progress towards your cherished goals is slow or difficult to achieve. Strongly tell yourself at the tempting moment when you want to quit and avoid staying the course: “Progress does not absolutely have to be quick and easy as I want it to be. I disturb … Read more
Keep reminding yourself that you disturb yourself. Strongly tell yourself at that tempting moment when you want to engage in irrational thinking, irrational emoting and self-defeating whining: “Things do not absolutely have to be as I want them to be. I disturb myself by demanding reality to be as I think it absolutely should … Read more
