Blog: Self-Help Posts on REBT

You Cannot Change the Weather & You cannot Change Other People

You Cannot Change the Weather & You cannot Change Other People 2/26/2018 In REBT we encourage people to eliminate self-created emotional upset by cultivating self-acceptance and other-acceptance. We encourage unconditional person acceptance along with critically evaluating the deeds we and others carry out. The goal is to judge what people do but never to judge […]

REBT Advocates Realistic Thinking Not Pure Positive Thinking

People often think that REBT advocates positive thinking. This is not wholly true nor entirely false. REBT philosophy advances realistic thinking. Realistic thinking conforms with reality and observable data and incorporates a balanced perspective that will often include elements of the good within the bad. However, REBT is not merely advocating positive thinking. What is … Read more

Coping with Post-Holiday Blues

​Today ends what is known as the holiday season, and tomorrow most of us will return to work. In the back of our minds as the New Year’s Eve hangover lifts is the notion that the distraction of the holidays is over and we need to face and address our ongoing challenges. The good news … Read more

On Death and Living Well

In Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy we encourage you to develop unconditional life acceptance. There is a great deal in life that we do not like but nevertheless we have a choice as to whether or not we disturb ourselves about that which we do not like. Also in REBT we encourage you to see there … Read more

I Did Well and I Did Poorly – The Dangers of Using the Word “Am”

When we use the word “am” which we are naturally inclined to do, we set ourselves up to feel unhealthy negative emotions, also known as emotional disturbance. When we humans use the verb to be and say, “I am good” or “I am bad” we tend to misrepresent reality by overgeneralizing and thereby set the stage for emotional disturbance (e.g. shame, … Read more

You Do Not Have to Prove Yourself

Albert Ellis, the originator of REBT, often said: “People live their lives to prove themselves instead of enjoying themselves.” In REBT we argue that there are no absolutes other than that you MUST someday die. Well, for now, this appears to be the case but someday even dying could be optional. Assuming that we must die, we … Read more

Gracefully Responding to Insults

“Why, then, ’tis none to you, for there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so. To me it is a prison. Well, then it isn’t one to you, since nothing is really good or bad in itself—it’s all what a person thinks about it. And to me, Denmark is a prison.“   Hamlet (Act 2, Scene … Read more

The Citadel of the Mind

The Citadel of the Mind 11/27/2017 “The mind, unconquered by violent passions, is a citadel, for a man has no fortress more impregnable in which to find refuge and remain safe forever.” Marcus Aurelius (Meditations, 8.48)   Marcus Aurelius knew how to help himself. He looked within instead of looking outside of himself for strength. […]