Let us be honest with each other. Mother Nature screwed up when she made human beings. She probably meant to create saints but failed miserably. Because she did, humans needed to develop ethical standards, laws, and other codes of conduct. If our nature were not to err in our interpersonal affairs, there would be no … Read more

Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy is a form of cognitive-behavioral therapy that can be extremely helpful for a person struggling with depression. Depression can be complex and have multiple layers to it. It is a common human experience and has been called the “common cold of mental illness.” I will explore what I call primary depression as … Read more

At the core of Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy’s theory of emotional disturbance is the concept of rigidity. Albert Ellis argued that we disturb ourselves when we hold rigid and extreme attitudes towards ourselves, others, and life conditions. From these rigid attitudes come extreme secondary attitudes that add to but do not lie at the core of our … Read more

In Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), I encourage you to learn to help yourself. To do so, you must reflect upon your emotional and behavioral reactions. I want you to know how to identify and replace your rigid and\or extreme attitudes, leading to your unhealthy, self-defeating emotions and behaviors. Over the years, REBT psychotherapists have … Read more

Who makes the primary contribution to what other people feel when you assert your wishes? Consider your position on this everyday interpersonal matter. It is not uncommon to hear a patient tell me they are reluctant to express themselves to another person because they do not want to hurt their feelings. When holding this position, … Read more

In this video, I discuss how to identify your self-defeating attitudes which underpin your unhealthy emotional and behavioral reactions to adversity. I discuss how to challenge these attitudes once you have identified them. I cover the creation of a healthy alternative attitude. I close with a discussion of how best to think about and challenge … Read more

We all have, or preferably should have, a vitally absorbing long-term, creative interest. REBT philosophy teaches that vitally absorbing interests make our lives maximally pleasurable and meaningful. Such immersive interests also probably help us maintain our emotional health as well. It is usually the case that our most personally meaningful goals and plans require sustained … Read more

It is not uncommon to encounter people who are emotionally disturbed about a parent, child, or spouse’s suffering. We love our family and often experience disturbance because we hold unrealistic attitudes towards their suffering. Usually, the individual who disturbs themselves in this way will experience either other-pity, depression, anxiety, or guilt. Experiencing these feelings may … Read more

It is not uncommon for humans to experience a good deal of emotional disturbance after a romantic relationship ends. Whether we decide to end the relationship or the person we love is choosing to end the relationship, humans often suffer enormously after a romantic relationship runs its course. Friends and family may remind us that … Read more

“The future doesn’t belong to the fainthearted; it belongs to the brave.”  – Ronald Reagan Life is full of awkward moments. I am referring to that exact moment when you have the chance to say or do what you want or retreat into your comfort zone. It strikes me as a common problem that many people … Read more