REBT’s Slippery Argument Against Rating of the Self

Remember all definitions of a person’s worth are arbitrary definitions. There are no standards for judging a person’s essential worth and therefore rating the self is not valid. More importantly it is self-inflicted pain. Rate the parts of you; rate the behaviors you do, and work to modify those parts and behaviors that get in the way of accomplishing your goals and having greater personal happiness in life. This takes time but continue to remind yourself that a person’s “self” is ever-changing and can’t be rated as we know not what the future holds. You will change and evolve as time goes on till you cease to live. All we can do is rate what we have displayed so far and when we do that rating it is always an incomplete rating. Therefore, we cannot validly rate the self. When people invalidly rate themselves, which most of are very inclined to do, they focus on one deficit or a few bad behaviors and think “I should not have that deficit, I should not ever do that, I should have this or that strength therefore I, me, the person is inadequate, worthless or less worthwhile than I would be if I were different.” REBT says NO. You, your essence cannot be summed or scored. When you sum it, rate it or score it you are overgeneralizing and creating disturbance. Feel bad about aspects of you (displeased say about your tendency to procrastinate or to avoid hard work) but never put the self down, never rate the self. Rating the self is invalid and you make yourself feel bad and then this bad feeling never helps you change the procrastinating behavior you do not like and wish to change. Accept the “self” unconditionally and then rate what you do and strive to change what you do which you do not like. Train your mind not to rate the self only what you do. Keep at it. When you do move significantly closer to unconditional self-acceptance you will experience profound psychological change and you will set yourself free.

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