Negating Your Demand and Constructing Complete Healthy Attitudes in REBT

Summary of Video:

1. Constructing complete, foundational, healthy attitudes with two components is best. The first component is your asserted preference, followed by negating your demand. For example, I want you to treat me nicely (an asserted preference), but sadly, you may not do so. You do not have to treat me nicely (negated demand).
2. Constructing complete, foundational, healthy attitudes is critical in restoring and maintaining your emotional health. A complete, healthy attitude protects you from taking an incomplete, healthy attitude and transforming it into an unhealthy one during a stressful moment. For example, if you only hold an incomplete healthy attitude, I want you to treat me nicely (asserted preference); because it is incomplete, you are at risk of transforming it into you must treat me nicely. The human mind is inclined to jump from a premise to an illogical conclusion in times of stress. By appending your asserted preference (I want you to treat me nicely) with a negated demand (but you do not have to do so), you create a complete, healthy attitude that can not be transformed into an unhealthy attitude in times of stress. I recommend constructing complete, healthy attitudes for your derivative attitudes as well.
3. Below are complete, healthy attitudes for the derivative attitudes of REBT:
4. It is bad that I wasted time today, but it is not awful that I wasted time today. (negation of awfulizing.
5. It is uncomfortable to exercise, not unbearable. (negation of unbearability)
6. I did hurt her feelings, and that is bad. However, it does not prove I am a bad person; it proves I am a fallible human. (negation of self-devaluing)
7. You can add healthy statements to the foundational full attitudes that make them even more potent.
8. Example: I want you to treat me nicely, but sadly, you are not. You do not have to treat me nicely. You are a fallible human; this is a good example of your fallibility. I will accept you unconditionally even though I dislike how you treat me and will bring up the matter with you when the time is best to do so.
9. It is bad that I wasted time today, not awful. No fallible human is perfectly efficient with their time. I will keep trying to use my time efficiently but choose to unconditionally accept myself even when I do something self-defeating, like wasting my precious time.
10. It is uncomfortable to exercise, but not unbearable. I can bear the discomfort of exercise. It is worth doing, as exercise will assist me in preserving my health and feeling good. I commit to exercising. I am worth making this effort, as I want to lead a long and healthy life.
11. I did hurt her feelings, and that is bad. It does not prove I am a bad person. It proves I am a fallible human. I will strive to learn from my actions, as I want to be a good friend. Although I unconditionally accept myself, my hurtful actions do not absolve me of the interpersonal consequences of my actions.