Benjamin Franklin said, “Time waits for no one.” Everyone faces time-related challenges. Humans easily disturb themselves about time, making themselves less efficient in utilizing this precious resource. Failing to use your time well is self-defeating; upsetting yourself for wasting time leads to inefficient use of time, undermining your goals. Time only goes forward, and you do not get a do-over regarding time utilization.
Take Responsibility for Your Emotions and Behavior
REBT encourages you always to practice the principle of emotional responsibility. Doing this would mean holding yourself accountable for your feelings and behaviors and striving to have healthy negative emotions about time and how well you use it. With REBT, you can
- Discipline yourself to make daily lists,
- Prioritize tasks, take action without self-defeating delay,
- Keep at it until you work your way down your list of things to do.
Address Low Discomfort Tolerance and Perfectionism
Work on your low discomfort attitude to avoid making lists and prioritizing tasks. When you procrastinate, work on your perfectionism and your low discomfort attitude. When you see you have wasted time, choose to feel concerned to be motivated to cease wasting time. When you fail to use it well, also practice unconditional self-acceptance. If you fail to unconditionally accept yourself for wasting time, you will down yourself, leading to more lost time. With unconditional self-acceptance, you can feel disappointed that you squandered time and feel appropriately concerned about the consequences of having done so.
Here are some of the self-defeating attitudes people hold that lead to inefficient use of time, followed by the healthier attitudes consistent with REBT philosophy:
Self-defeating attitude: It is too hard to make a list and prioritize. I will just launch into my day.
Healthy attitude: Although I am tempted to launch into my day without a priority list, I will resist the urge. It is not too hard to list things to do and quickly prioritize them. It is worth doing as something will inevitably be left unfinished, and I will feel better if I have accomplished the most important tasks on my to-do list for today.
Self-defeating attitude: I will get started a little later. I don’t feel like starting now. It is too hard to work on the critical tasks of today’s to-do list.
Healthy attitude: I do not have to feel like starting a task if it is in my best interest to start immediately. A body in motion tends to stay in motion. It is hard to work on the critical tasks of today’s to-do list; it is not unbearable. I can bear the discomfort of the effort to start these tasks even though I do not feel inclined to do so because immediate action is well worth doing in the mid-and long-term. I want to minimize pain and maximize the pleasure of my life. This attitude will help me do this.
Self-defeating attitude: I have to do those critical tasks perfectly well because there are consequences if I fail to do them well. I will avoid doing them until I know I will do them well.
Healthy attitude: Although important tasks carry more significant consequences, it does not follow I must do them perfectly well. With this attitude, I will never do these critical tasks, and that will have painful consequences for me to face. Indeed, I want to give them thought, so I do them as well as I can now. Avoiding doing them is not the solution. I do not need a guarantee that I will do them perfectly well. After considering how best to proceed with these critical tasks, I will try my best.
Self-defeating attitude: I absolutely should not have procrastinated and wasted so much time.
Healthy attitude: It would have been better if I had not procrastinated, but sadly, I did. Shoulding on myself will only lead me to devalue myself, feel depressed, shameful, and anxious, and procrastinate further. I will unconditionally accept myself and immediately act on those things I am avoiding to utilize the remaining time.
Self-defeating attitude: I need more time to accomplish what is essential.
Healthy attitude: I want more time to accomplish what is essential, but I do not have to have more time. I will accept I have the time I do, make the best use of it, and get as close as possible to achieving my goals.
Self-defeating attitude: I cannot bear that there is too little time to accomplish my goals.
Healthy attitude: It is hard to bear that there is too little time to accomplish my goals, but it is not unbearable. It is worth bearing as I do not have more time, and disturbing myself will not give me more time. Time waits for no one.
Self-defeating attitude: It is awful that I do not have enough time to do everything I wish to do.
Healthy attitude: It is unfortunate, not awful, that I do not have sufficient time to do everything I wish. I will accept the challenge of insufficient time and prioritize what is most important to me.
Self-defeating attitude: I am lesser as a person because I waste so much time.
Healthy attitude: The fact that I waste so much time proves I am a fallible human, not a lesser human. I can empirically confirm I have avoided getting started, but I cannot prove it makes me less of a human. How well I utilize time is not a valid definition of my human value. I can accept myself unconditionally and acknowledge my problem of wasting time and work to reign in this self-defeating habit.
Summary
The bottom line is that time waits for no one. Make daily prioritized lists, hold healthy attitudes, avoid low discomfort tolerance and perfectionism, and unconditionally accept yourself when you waste time. Focus on what you can change: your attitude towards the remaining time to work on your goals and dreams. Lost time is never regained. Get cracking with REBT!