Look for the Should, Look for the Must…

Remember to keep up with your REBT self-help. It comes down to use it or lose it. Your biological tendency to upset yourself will cause you to needlessly disturb yourself unless you actively work against doing so. Each day reflect on how well you are managing your emotions and where you might do better. In the morning or at night is a good time. Remind yourself that you are a fallible human who can learn and grow. To do so you need to remain vigilant for the irrationality that lurks within you. Remind yourself of the ABC model of emotion. Remember to “Look for the Should, look for the Must…” that lies at the core of your disturbance. Move towards a preferential mindset, a wishful and wanting mindset, when you notice your self-created upset. You can do this. Keep your wishes and wants but give up those self-defeating musts you place yourself, on others and on the world. Strive to be firm with others and do not let them walk over you. Strive to be firm with yourself too! However, as you set limits with others you do not have to anger yourself. This will never help you. In the end, you want to keep moving towards Unconditional Self-Acceptance, Unconditional Other-Acceptance, and Unconditional Life Acceptance. You can do this but it does take work and practice. 

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