Language is Tool – Wield It Precisely Dr. Walter J. Matweychuk
Be careful about labeling yourself with some aspects of your disturbances. You have, perhaps, depressed feelings – at certain times and under specific conditions. But if you therefore conclude “I am a depressive,” you encourage yourself to practically always feel depressed under many conditions. This is one of the dangers of our medical tradition – that we often label people as depressives and thereby discourage them from even trying to change. – Albert Ellis, Ph.D.
Humans think with images and words. Our words, the language we use to think, can mislead us. A language is a tool, and like all tools, it can fail to work perfectly well in all instances. Albert Ellis was very influenced by an independent scholar and philosopher named Alfred Korzybski who created what is known as General Semantics theory. Ellis imported important concepts from General Semantics theory into REBT. General Semantics and REBT caution that the language we use, the words and labels we use, are NOT the things they represent. The word is not the thing. The word “chair” is not the thing it represents. No one’s thirst was ever quenched by the word “water” or thinking of this word. Another way of representing this idea is to say “the map is not the territory it represents.” When we think to ourselves “I am a depressive” we are essentially taking the word “depressive” and confusing it with the thing or in this case the person “me.” How we represent reality through our words, labels, and language will impact our feelings, expectations, and efforts. Thinking that “I am a failure” is likely to contribute to avoiding attempts to succeed at certain times in the future. REBT encourages precise use of language to have healthy, self-helping feelings in response to adversity. Instead of over overgeneralizing and thinking “I am a depressive” it would be more congruent to think “I sometimes experience periods of depression and at other times experience periods of well-being.” When we label ourselves in global ways, we make overstatements that undermine healthy emotional functioning. It is easier to apply general labels, but it is worth the effort to monitor how we think and use language, especially when we choose negative, derogatory labels towards oneself and other people. Convert the label of the person to a label of behavior under specified conditions. Here are some examples:
I am a failure. (Labeling)
I both fail and succeed. I failed this time but who knows what will happen the next time? (Precise language focused on different conditions)
I am a procrastinator. (Labeling)
I tend to procrastinate when facing difficult tasks but sometimes get right down to it when facing other tasks. It depends upon the conditions. (Precise language focused on different conditions)
I am a bad and worthless person. (Labeling)
I have done some bad or worthless things. Who knows what good and worthwhile things I may do in the future? (Precise language focused on different conditions)
He is an idiot. (Labeling)
He did an idiotic thing but does not always do idiotic things. Under those circumstances, he acted idiotically, but under other conditions, he has acted intelligently. (Precise language focused on different conditions)
She is a nice person. (Labeling)
She often acts nicely. She acts nicely under many conditions. Let’s hope this pattern of behavior continues. (Precise language focused on different conditions)
I am an impatient person. (Labeling)
When blocked by people and conditions, I tend to feel impatient. I can be impatient at times. I will try to limit those instances of impatient behavior. (Precise language focused on different conditions)
In each example above the use of the label is focused on more limited instances of observed behavior or specified conditions. The result is a greater degree of precision in thought and a better representation of reality. Labeling other people and ourselves leads to overstatements and often produces unhealthy emotional reactions.
You might think after reading this blog post “When and who thinks this way?” Hopefully, you will then think “I will try to think this way as often as possible to use language in a more precise way to capture reality.”
Bottom line: Remember language is a tool used to understand what is going on and it can deceive he who wields the tool. The word is NOT the thing.