In Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy we teach people to question their rigid self-defeating beliefs which give rise to self-defeating emotions and behaviors. We call this process disputing your irrational beliefs. When you dispute your irrational beliefs you are attempting to expose the self-defeating nature of these beliefs. You also are questioning the logic behind your beliefs. You are evaluating your beliefs and attempt to determine if they are philosophically sound. When we dispute beliefs in REBT we ask for the evidence for believing that you absolutely must have what you want. When we dispute we ask if there is evidence that you literally cannot bear what you dislike. We question or dispute the notion that your worth as a person is dependent on success, approval, or good performance. We question whether people can be rated as people. We debate and discuss ideas and in REBT I try to show you that with work and practice you can independently straighten out your crooked thinking and achieve a greater degree of emotional independence.
In the course of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy we attack the reasoning behind your beliefs but never attack the person holding the beliefs. I want you to think critically about your beliefs and values and to independently create more self-helping beliefs about your values. So the process of disputing beliefs tries to get you to think more independently and to develop greater self-direction. When we believe we absolutely must have approval we are thinking in a rather dependent way. When we think that our worth is determined by what others think we are not really demonstrating what might be called independent thinking. REBT challenges you to think for yourself and to see that your emotional destiny is determined by your beliefs and personal philosophy. This is the principle of emotional responsibility which is at the core of REBT. REBT encourages you to be self-directed and seek personally meaningful and vitally absorbing goals and interests which will give your life meaning and pleasure and keep you from being bored. What you find personally meaningful may not be what your parents, society, or your friends think you “should” find meaningful. REBT encourages you keep to your values and to find pleasure and meaning in life doing what you want as long as it is not hurting other people or hurting yourself in the long run. Because REBT emphasizes that you have one life to live and that it is your responsibility to maximize the pleasure you experience you therefore want to avoid short term pleasures which jeopardize your long term wellbeing. How you choose to find pleasure and meaning in life is your choice to independently make.