People ask me to help them with their avoidance behavior. There are many different unhealthy reasons someone may put off doing what would be good for them to do now rather than later. Today I will address only one of those reasons. Still, this reason is sufficiently present that I suspect many will profit from the analysis I am about to do.
People will avoid doing something that would be best to do now rather than later because they “do not feel like doing the task, chore, or activity.” When people report this to me, to help them I take this thought and put it at point A in the ABC model of REBT. I then identify the associated Consequences at C and, finally, the rigid and extreme attitudes they hold at point B.
The consequences at point C are discomfort anxiety or what also could be called non-ego anxiety. When humans are anxious, they often retreat or avoid something undesirable or threatening. In this scenario, discomfort anxiety is the feeling at C. The behavior that goes along with this is avoidance behavior of the task. The unhealthy thinking consequence is “I will have time to do it later” when they may not have much time or that it would be far better if they did not put off the task till later and must then rush doing the task.
The ABC Framework
Goal: My goal is to get the task off my to-do list and reap the rewards of getting work done now rather than later but I also want to remain comfortable now and not exert myself.
Adversity = “I don’t feel like doing it right now. It is easier and less uncomfortable to do this task when I feel like doing it.”
Basic Attitudes = (rigid and extreme in nature – musts and attitudes of unbearability)
Consequences:
Emotional: Discomfort anxiety
Urges: To avoid
Behavioral: Avoidance behavior with engagement in another activity that is pleasurable in the short run and distracting (e.g., video games, television, unnecessary eating, smoking cannabis)
Thinking: Planning to do the task in the future without acknowledging the downside of putting off the task. Minimizing the advantages of doing the work now.
I find a simple basic idea is often at point B and responsible for this avoidance behavior:
Basic Attitudes = (One rigid, one extreme)
Primary attitude: I (absolutely) must feel like doing the task now to initiate behavior to do it.
Secondary derivative attitude: It is too hard, too uncomfortable to make an effort to do it now because I do not feel like doing it. It is unbearable to do now.
This example is a classic case of what Albert Ellis called discomfort disturbance. Sadly, some people are well-practiced in this way of thinking and can get into much trouble thinking this way. When people want to overcome this habit of putting things off, I help them learn first to dispute these self-defeating rigid and extreme ideas. Then I show them how to ACT upon new, flexible and non-extreme attitudes. In other words, I encourage them to make a profound philosophical change toward the initiation of behavior even when they do not feel like taking action.
The Disputing Process
Disputing is the process of critical examination of your rigid and extreme attitudes. The aim is to make yourself aware of your attitudes’ functional impairment, lack of evidence, and illogic. Here is an example of how one can dispute the above noted rigid and extreme attitudes:
1. What are the short-term and long-term results of holding these attitudes? Are my attitudes serving me well?
Answer: My attitude leads me to avoid taking advantage of the window of opportunity I presently have to do this task and thereby get the work behind me. My stance gives me some comfort as I avoid work in the short run. Still, I deprive myself of the satisfaction of doing it now and getting it behind me. The unfinished task consumes some emotional energy as it lingers on my to-do list. In a nutshell, these attitudes do not serve me well.
2. Is there evidence to support my rigid and extreme attitudes?
Answer: There is no evidence that feeling inclined to do something is a necessary precondition for exertion. Also, no evidence supports that doing a task is too hard and unbearable when I do not feel like doing it. Recall those times in life when I went to work and felt like staying home instead. I can recall when I interrupted my sleep to feed my infant even though I did not feel like waking up. Even though I was sleepy, and it was hard to get out of bed, my actions showed I could bear it, and I did it. The question is not if I can or cannot do when I do not feel inclined but whether I choose to do it or not.
3. Are my rigid and extreme attitudes logical?
Answer: No. Both my rigid and extreme attitudes above are examples of a non sequitur. It does not logically follow that I must first feel like doing a task to do it. IT IS HARDER TO DO when I do not feel like doing a task, but I remain capable of this effort. This part is logical. However, it is false to conclude that this condition must be present to do the task because it is easier when I feel like doing it.
Also, suppose I start with the premise that something is uncomfortable and hard to do. In that case, it does not logically follow to conclude that the task is intolerable. When something is hard to do, it remains something I can bear doing if I see the task as worth doing. Once I conclude something is worth doing, it makes sense to be willing to bear the effort and get cracking at the task.
Conclusion
If you have the time to do something but are avoiding making an effort, first attempt to identify why it is worth doing now instead of putting it off for later. Then remember that although you may not feel like doing it, you can choose to do it now. Remind yourself that wanting to do something is not a necessary precondition for action. If the time is available note that you can choose to do it now and thereby profit from doing it now. Remember that although it is easier to do if you are in the mood, it is not impossible, unbearable, too hard, or intolerable to do now. Remind yourself that you can stand the activation energy required and that there is good reason to bear this cost right now. Call to mind that the task is worth doing sooner rather than later, so the effort to do it now is worth it. Commit to action and then exert the power of your will. You can do it now if you choose to and therefore stop thinking about it and start doing it. Lastly remember that you will be glad that you are training yourself to exert self-direction and act when it is best for you to do. Get cracking!