Fallible humans anger themselves. We all have done it. When we do, we undermine our efforts to solve problems creatively. We quit on the task. Once under the dysfunctional spell of anger, we experience biased thinking and may see future efforts as futile. Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) teaches that at the base of this dysfunctional reaction are rigid and extreme attitudes.
The ABC framework is a great way to unpack an instance of self-created anger and learn from it. I encourage you to open the attached document titled “ABC Analysis of Anger at Being Blocked.” It was created during a recent session when I was working with a graduate student who angered herself when she failed to make progress writing what she initially assumed would be an “easy” computer program to write. You may not be a computer programmer, but just the same, you can profit from this example. A different obstacle may block you but hold virtually the same basic attitudes towards the reality you face – you are frustrated and cannot figure out where you are going wrong.
I would encourage you to take note of the biased thinking that evolved from the unhealthy anger she created by holding the attitudes:
I want to be able to have this simple program done and I ABSOLUTELY MUST FIGURE THIS OUT. I CANNOT BEAR THIS FRUSTRATION\BEING BLOCKED TO MY GOAL! IT IS AWFUL THAT I CANNOT FIGURE THIS OUT!
I MUST BECOME A MASTER PROGRAMMER QUICKLY AND EASILY!
This person’s biased thinking was:
Unhealthy emotion: anger leads to the biased assumption “If I cannot do this simple program, then I won’t be able to do more complex programs I encounter in my career.” (Subsequent biased thinking based on unhealthy anger.)
I would encourage you to go down through the disputing process carefully that I took this student through. People want to jump straight away to the new rational attitude. However, it pays to think through the disputing process to undermine conviction in the rigid and extreme attitude you are using to anger yourself.
In the end, we reached a healthy attitude for this young person to ACT upon to build conviction and continue to work on solving the problem she faced. It is only through bearing frustration that she could test a new solution to her computer problem.
Follow my advice. Review this case study and then use it the next time YOU ANGER YOURSELF when some obstacle blocks you. You will be glad you did this case review.
Note: On Saturdays, I hold a free Zoom conversation hour where I take a volunteer and discuss one of their problems. If you have an emotional problem you would like to discuss with me, perhaps you will volunteer and I will show you how to think in a more effective way about your problem. I will show you the rigid and extreme attitudes that are leading to your self-defeating emotions and holding you back from achieving your goals.
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