In Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy, REBT, we encourage people to go beyond learning this philosophy of life. We encourage daily practice with action consistent with its tenets. Below are nine self-helping attitudes you can practice daily to help you thrive in a challenging world.
Healthy Attitudes – Realistic and Self-helping
My goal is to have a healthy reaction to the circumstances I encounter each day. I cannot control others, but I can control how I react to them.
Misfortune is part of life. I can complain about it or have a healthy attitude toward it. REBT is a discipline of the mind that will enable me to flourish in the face of misfortune.
I want to avoid mistakes but will inevitably make them because I am a fallible human. I do not have to live perfectly well. I will take responsibility for my errors and try to learn from them. Unconditionally accepting myself is sensible and will help me avoid defensive reactions. I will be open to feedback and strive to do better in the future. I cannot perfect myself even with REBT. Better is better. I will strive to do better.
I wish people were not so challenging to deal with, but sadly, that is how it is. People will often do what they want and not what I want. Rather than anger myself, I will hold realistic, flexible, and non-extreme attitudes toward their behavior. I can bear what they do even when it goes against my goals. Even when it is awkward, I will assert myself. I will put myself first and others a close second to care for myself instead of immaturely relying on others to care for me. I will respect the rights of others and do my best to react maturely when they disrespect or disappoint me.
I wish life were fair and easy, but it is often not this way. Too bad. I can discipline myself to accept life’s challenges and avoid extreme thinking. Circumstances can get very difficult at times, but with REBT, I can maintain hope that I can handle all the challenges that come my way today, tomorrow, and well into the future.
I want certainty but do not have to have it. I can accept that we live in a world of probability where certainty does not exist. I will strive to take calculated risks and avoid foolhardy risks.
I can change my self-defeating attitudes, feelings, and behaviors. I will use REBT ideas and strategies to guide me in this change. Work and practice are required because I am well-practiced at thinking and behaving in a self-defeating way. I will not demand quick results but stay the course in implementing REBT’s realistic, flexible attitudes. I cannot pay someone to do the work and practice for me. I will accept the challenge of assuming personal responsibility for my self-defeating emotional reactions.
REBT is a sensible system of ideas that applies broadly in life. I will monitor my reactions. When I observe myself responding healthily, I will continue to do so. When I observe myself responding in an unhealthy way, I will accept myself with my self-defeating reaction and immediately attempt to uncover the rigid attitudes I hold about myself, others, and life conditions that lie at the core of my emotional disturbance. I will question these rigid attitudes and remind myself how impractical they are. I will then immediately discipline my mind to adopt a flexible mindset to help me healthily react to adversity.
I will refuse to be miserable and hopeless and yield to my self-defeating impulses. I will change what I can and accept what is unchangeable. I want to flourish and enjoy life despite my circumstances being far from ideal. REBT can bring out the best in me, which is precisely what I will use it to do! I will keep at it.