Each year, on my birthday, June 9th, I celebrate with a shame-attacking exercise. Unconditional self-acceptance is cultivated and maintained by shame-attacking exercises that take you out of your comfort zone in interpersonal situations. They assist you in giving up an unhealthy need for approval from others and enable you to provide yourself with perhaps the greatest gift a human can give to themselves, namely unconditional self-acceptance. Accepting yourself without conditions allows you to live without shame. You enjoy greater freedom to live authentically instead of living to avoid acting shamefully. Cultivating and maintaining unconditional self-acceptance is difficult because the human mind seems to default to self-rating, followed by self-devaluation for one’s flaws, errors, and imperfections. Regularly doing shame-attacking exercises that risk social disapproval strengthens and maintains your conviction and capacity to accept yourself without conditions.
In my honor, I encourage you to do a shame-attacking exercise in your part of the world.
Please remember the strict rules of shame-attacking exercises:
- You never do anything dangerous to yourself or others.
- You never do an illegal act.
- You do not have to involve others, so respect their rights and dignity. Do not shame others. It is your exercise to risk shame, not theirs.
- Have fun doing it, and remind yourself before, during, and after the shame attack that you can choose to accept yourself with or without the love and approval of others.