Develop an Anti-Moaning Philosophy
“Acknowledge that you are choosing, are responsible for your self-pitying and complaining. People may be doing you in and conditions may truly be unfair. But nobody makes you whine about this. Nobody but you.” – Albert Ellis, Ph.D.
Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy helps people appreciate the power of choice that humans have at their disposal. Ellis so nicely points out in the above quote that we disturb ourselves by silently pitying and complaining to ourselves. This is a natural tendency all humans have. Although it is natural, meaning we are inclined to do it, it is not accurate to say that we have to do it and that it is prudent to do it. Yes, people will obstruct us. It is also true that the hand of fate will test us and hurl obstacles at us. However, these things are only opportunities to upset ourselves. They are opportunities to whine and complain that people and life are not as they absolutely should be. When tested we have a choice. We can whine and complain or accept but not like the challenge that is occurring.
Train yourself to be on the lookout for your whining and complaining. There is no shame in acknowledging you, and I have this natural tendency. Then commit to developing an anti-morning philosophy. Accept that life is hard, people are fallible and that obstacles will inevitably occur. You are unique but NOT special. Adversity will happen to all of us, and it is at that moment we have a choice. Moan and groan or accept and problem-solve. Keep your preferences for a serene, untroubled life but see that sooner or later the opportunity to moan will occur. Arm yourself in advance with REBT’s philosophical acceptance.
Bottom line: You never have to moan and groan when the hand fate and other humans test you. This is REBT’s Principle of Emotional Responsibility. Choose not to upset yourself. You can do it, but it takes daily practice.