Realize that other people really do not make you upset. We make ourselves upset over what others do, fail to do, or how they disappoint us. This is the emotionally liberating message of REBT. Our rigid and extreme beliefs about what people do are really what ‘hurts’ us. Relinquish the demand that fallible human beings be as you want them to be. Keep your wishes, wants and desires but give up what in REBT is referred to as demandingness, demanding beliefs, or musturbation. Sadly, because you are not a deity or the center of the universe you cannot will others to treat you as you wish to be treated. Fortunately, you can will yourself to not have unhealthy feelings in response to the misbehavior of others.
Keep your desire to be treated well by others and speak up to try to persuade them to do so. Disturbing yourself will not assist you in this act of assertion. If you do not get treated well enough by particular fallible humans you can choose to not have a relationship with them. Do not be too quick to do this! All people are fallible and sooner or later will do something you dislike, fail to do what you prefer, or otherwise disappoint you. If you cut people out of your life too quickly and do not learn to tolerate their fallibility you may find yourself socially isolated. Learn to control your emotional reactions and not disturb yourself over what others do so you can live well with your fellow fallible humans.
Bottom-line: You make yourself upset over what others do or fail to do. You never have to upset yourself over what others do or fail to do.