Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is very much against perfectionism in all its forms. People who have perfectionist beliefs tend to be unhappy, rarely satisfied, and often anxious. They often avoid work because they cannot do it perfectly or spend too much time doing something as they over prepare in order to try to do it “perfectly”. Often such people do not develop their talents, as they are afraid to fail. When we fail, we learn from failing. Irrational beliefs that underlie perfectionism tend to be rigid, dogmatic, and extreme. Here are some examples:
1. If something is not perfect it is worthless.
2. My performance must be perfect or else it is awful.
3. If I am not perfect then I am less worthwhile.
These rigid beliefs will most certainly make you unhappy and perhaps downright miserable. Opt for a more realistic, sensible, and flexible view. I call this sensible view the “good enough view.” Strive for a good enough performance. Here are some examples of this approach applied to the above beliefs:
1. Even when something is not perfect it can be worthwhile. Perfection is an illusion. Demanding perfection is a great way to be unhappy. Perfection is an idea that does not exist in everyday reality. I would prefer perfection but alas the world, I and others are imperfect and demanding perfection is a great way to be unhappy.
2. My performance does not have to be perfect. When it is not sufficiently good I will strive to improve it but it is not awful or unbearable that my performance could benefit from improvement.
3. Even if I am not perfect I am not less worthwhile. Being human means being fallible and imperfect. I can accept me even if I am an imperfect person.