REBT teaches that some degree of happiness is nearly always an option if you choose to give up these three rigid and extreme attitudes:
1. Life conditions must be as I want them to be. If they are not it is awful, terrible and unbearable.
2. You absolutely must treat me nicely as I want you to treat me. If you do not it is awful, terrible and unbearable and you are a rotten individual. Afterall, I am the center of the universe.
3. I must perform well and possess all or at least most of the desirable characteristics I must possess to consider myself worthwhile and adequate as a person. If I do not perform well and possess all or most of these desirable characteristics I am less worthwhile and inadequate as a person.
If you keep your wishes AND wants regarding how life conditions, other people, and even yourself ideally could be but never have to be then you can have some degree of happiness even when things are not as you want them to be. Some degree of happiness when facing adversity or less than ideal conditions is nearly always a choice. Choose wisely!
Note: I am a clinical psychologist with 27 years of experience using REBT and cognitive behavior therapy. I practice psychotherapy and train doctoral students in the practice of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy and Cognitive Behavior Therapy at the University of Pennsylvania’s Penn Behavioral Health Center located within the department of psychiatry of the Perelman School of Medicine. I am an adjunct faculty member of New York University’s Steinhardt School in the department of Applied Psychology, and author of the soon to be released Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy: A Newcomer’s Guide. I have a private practice in Philadelphia. I am available for psychotherapy, coaching, and professional training and consultation in person or by Skype. Feel free to contact me or join my Intermittent Reinforcement email list and get started learning Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy today.
