Shoulding on Thy Self Leads to Self-Depreciation 4/29/2019 “Shouldhood leads to shithood. You cannot be a shit without a should.” Albert Ellis, PhD Albert Ellis was known for his wit, humor, and creative use of language. He emphasized the importance of coming to learn how to accept ourselves unconditionally. Having known Al, I attest to […]
Keeping After Ourselves – Not Easy but Possible 3/6/2019 Therapy clients are the way they are not only because they easily and naturally disturb themselves (as perhaps all human beings) but also because they indulge in their dysfunctional feelings, thoughts, and behaviors and refuse to persist in the hard work usually required to change them. […]
Language is a Tool – Wield It Precisely 2/25/2019 Be careful about labeling yourself with some aspects of your disturbances. You have, perhaps, depressed feelings – at certain times and under specific conditions. But if you therefore conclude “I am a depressive,” you encourage yourself to practically always feel depressed under many conditions. This is […]
It is Bad, NOT Awful – Awfulize at Your Own Peril 1/31/2019 Awfulizing exists on a world wide scale and may well be an inherent reaction to very bad, potentially fatal events. Who among us doesn’t fairly often engage in it? Few!…Nonetheless, exceptionally bad occurrences are only awful, horrible, or terrible when you define them […]
Overcoming the Shackles of Shame 11/24/2018 In Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy, we liberate people from the shackles of shame. Shame reduces your pleasure and freedom in life and is therefore considered a self-defeating, unhealthy negative emotion. REBT regards feelings as important signals which come in healthy and unhealthy pairs. The healthy alternative to shame is […]
3 Steps to Healthy Negative Emotions: #1 Identify & Question, #2 Evaluate Your So-called Evidence, #3 Create a New Attitude 8/22/2018 To use REBT to change self-defeating emotional and behavioral reactions, learn to identify your rigid and extreme attitudes, question, then change these attitudes towards adversity. Use these questions to correct your thinking and behave […]
Beating Backsliding After Making Hard-Earned Therapeutic Gains 7/10/2018 Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy, REBT, is a very useful therapeutic approach for achieving emotional and behavioral change. REBT works when people work at it. However, it is not unreasonable to expect and prepare in advance for backsliding. Expecting the possibility of backsliding after achieving therapeutic gains is […]
Overcoming the Tyranny of Shame 6/4/2018 Shame is a potent and painful emotion for many people. It often is accompanied by anxiety, and people often find that they have problems with both of these emotions. Shame is so compelling people have committed suicide when in the throes of a shameful episode. Let’s do an ABC […]
How to Make Yourself “Keep Going” and Impervious to Failed Effort 5/17/2018 It is obvious to say sustained effort matters when pursuing goals. Winston Churchill famously said, “Keep Going.” He who keeps going is considerably more likely to get his prize in the end. REBT helps people continue to maintain an effort towards their goals […]
REBT Asks a Great Deal of You and Me 4/18/2018 As a philosophy and psychotherapy, REBT asks a great deal of the patient and the psychotherapist. It is not a natural philosophy for the patient to adopt and practice. The message of REBT is to resist your human nature and do what is uncomfortable and […]
