Walter J. Matweychuk, Ph.D.

This may seem paradoxical but each partner in a marriage or love relationship would be better off if they expected incompatibility, emotional disturbance, moodiness, counterproductive behavior, and general irrationality. After all each partner is a highly fallible human. If you expect irrationality and misbehavior you will be in a much better frame of mind than if you … Read more

In Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) we point out that it is healthy and actually helpful to feel certain negative emotions. Here is the REBT list of healthy negative emotions: Concern Sadness Remorse Disappointment  and displeasure Sorrow  Healthy anger and annoyance Healthy jealousy Healthy envy Depending upon the situation you will feel one of these … Read more

People misbehave this is true. They will say things we do not like to hear, act in ways we find distasteful and hold a point of view that justifies their behavior. They can be moody and sometimes mean. REBT does not deny that people regularly do all sorts of distasteful, bad, and even very, very … Read more

Change what you can change about yourself, others and the world while accepting what you cannot change. Have high frustration tolerance for yourself, others and the world. Things generally take more time and effort than we wish. This is too bad. Remain responsible for your emotional responses at all times. Keep your ego out of … Read more

Fallible humans easily engage in irrational thinking. Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is a method and a philosophy for overcoming this human tendency. REBT is perfectly logical but is difficult to implement. Some people spend more time thinking about REBT and attempting to use it than others. Those who work at REBT are generally the … Read more

Acceptance, tolerance, resilience, flexibility, rolling with the punches, making the best of a bad situation, accommodation all are different ways of saying what is at the heart of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy. We all face thwarted desires. We then try and get around the obstacle and get what we desire. This is all well and … Read more

I recently heard a news report where several train commuters were inconvenienced due a computer glitch on the railroad. Trains lost their ability to be centrally coordinated and so each train had to proceed to the nearest station and wait for a couple of hours until the problem was solved. After the spokesperson more or … Read more

Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) encourages people to experience and then maintain healthy negative emotions when they encounter problems. Healthy negative emotions help us experience the motivation to change what can be changed. Healthy negative emotions enable us to have the poise to do what is in our long-term best interest rather than to do … Read more

Remember to only measure your acts but do not attempt to measure your “self”. We can never measure our “self” as it is too complex and is in a constant state of evolution. You can measure or rate your deeds. If you perform poorly acknowledge it. Learn from it. But see that your deeds cannot … Read more

You can’t learn without feedback. A big ego is the best way to drive away and insulate yourself from feedback good or bad. So if you want to learn and improve, lose your ego. – Albert Ellis, Ph.D.