Walter J. Matweychuk, Ph.D.

Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. Abraham Lincoln

Example Problem: You are an adult but your older sister treats you like a child. ABC Analysis of This Problem Your Goal: To be treated like an adult with respect. To be treated by your older sister as an equal. (A) Adversity: You perceive your old sister to be treating you like a child when … Read more

If you have a personal goal Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) can help you achieve it. REBT is a broadly applicable philosophy of life and a broadly applicable psychotherapy. Whether you are looking to find love, overcome an addiction, achieve in your career, raise emotionally well-adjusted children or better manage your self-defeating emotions REBT can … Read more

My mentor and fellow REBT psychologist, Dr. Windy Dryden, has written a superb book entitled How to Come out of Your Comfort Zone. He argues that we have two strong instincts and those are to either try to avoid discomfort or maintain comfort. He points out that these instincts are not self-defeating as long as … Read more

REBT starts with the premise that our emotional reactions fall into two major groups – the healthy group and the unhealthy group.   The healthy group signals we do not like something and helps us change what we can change. These negative feelings are helpful and motivating. The unhealthy group signals we do not like … Read more

The key to coping well with life’s adversities is to question your rigid and extreme beliefs. Rigidity and extreme beliefs lead to unhealthy negative emotions. The unhealthy negative emotions and their healthy counterparts are listed below:   1. anxiety (vs. healthy concern) 2. depression (vs. healthy sadness, sorrow) 3. shame (vs. healthy disappointment) 4. guilt … Read more

1. I make myself upset. Others only give me the opportunity to make myself upset. 2. Rigid beliefs lead to emotional upset. 3. When I am upset I am more likely to say and do things I later regret. 4. I have the capacity to be more flexible by adopting flexible beliefs. 5. A rigid … Read more