Two Ideas Worth Spreading

People will live far better with themselves and others if they abandon the concept of self-esteem and adopt the concepts of Unconditional Self and Other Acceptance. People create their own emotional disturbance by evaluating both what they and others do and then conditionally accepting themselves and others if and only if they do well. This … Read more

23 Sensible Ideas REBT Teaches

23 Sensible Ideas REBT Teaches 12/30/2015 1.    Your beliefs matter. They have consequences. When Adversity strikes you bring Beliefs to the Adversity and there are emotional Consequences. This is the famous ABC model of Emotion pioneered by Albert Ellis. 2.    Rigid and Extreme beliefs are at the core of emotional disturbance while Flexible and Non-extreme […]

Manage Your Anger Before It Manages You

Manage Your Anger Before It Manages You 9/25/2015 “Deciding to live your life with less anger may be one of the most important decisions you will ever make.” – Albert Ellis, Ph.D.​ In REBT I teach that anger is an extremely self-defeating emotion. It is easy for humans to experience anger but this does not […]

How Not to Drive Yourself Crazy When You Enjoy Thanksgiving With Your Family

Remember people do what they do. If you respond with righteous, dogmatic anger that self-defeating emotion is constructed by you. This is not to blame you or condemn you but to encourage you to adopt the Principle of Emotional Responsibility. Remind yourself that others give you an opportunity to make yourself upset. Your rigid musts, … Read more

The Principle of Emotional Responsibility

Remember the principle of Emotional Responsibility which is the foundation of REBT philosophy. It is a liberating principle if you push yourself to implement it. Other people only give you an opportunity to get disturbed and upset. YOU make yourself upset over what other people do or fail to do. Rather than trying to change … Read more

Becoming Your Own REBT Therapist

The theory of REBT places a strong emphasis on personal responsibility, self-acceptance, and self-direction. ​I encourage you​ to hold yourself​ personally responsible for ​your self-defeating ​emotional and behavioral reactions in response to the adversities of life. ​I encourage you​ to unconditionally accept ​yourself​ even when others reject ​you ​or disapprove of ​you​. ​I​ encourage ​you​ … Read more

Taking Control of You not Them

REBT encourages you to adopt the principle of emotional responsibility. This is the notion that other people provide us with an opportunity to experience upset. It is the beliefs we hold ABOUT what they do which lead to our emotional upset. In short you make yourself upset over the misbehavior of other people. Keep your … Read more

Rating the Deed Not the Person

Work on rating behavior not rating people as people. So rate what you like about what you and others do. Rate what you do not like about what you and other people do. When we rate behaviors and characteristics of people we will tend not to experience unhealthy anger, guilt, shame, or unhealthy envy. This … Read more

Other People Misbehave But You Upset Yourself

REBT is a problem focused therapy. It is aimed at solving emotional and behavioral problems. People derive insight along the way but the goal is to help people eliminate self-defeating emotions and behaviors. Ask yourself:   – What emotions do I experience that are self-defeating? (Pick from anger, depression, anxiety, shame, guilt, unhealthy envy, and unhealthy … Read more