Walter J. Matweychuk, Ph.D. Surviving Thanksgiving Day with Difficult Family Members 11/23/2016 As the holidays approach it is likely you will find yourself sitting around the dining room table with family who may invite you to upset yourself. Nature foists our mother, father, sister, or brother upon us. We have no say in the matter. […]
Keep the ABC model of REBT (see below photo) in mind as you encounter Adversity throughout your day. Ask yourself: 1. Is my emotional and behavioral reaction to this adversity unhealthyself-defeating or healthyself-helping? 2. If it is unhealthy ask – What is the rigid attitude or extreme attitude that is leading me to disturb myself about this adversity? – Also … Read more
How to Stay with the Effort to Achieve Your Long- Term Goals 10/19/2016 To improve your ability to stay with your goals you will need to improve what we refer to in REBT as low discomfort tolerance (LDT) or low frustration tolerance (LFT). Those who have a problem with LDT desire a particular goal but […]
Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is a practical and focused approach to problems of everyday living. REBT can be used in a reactive way whereby we strive to use it to respond to life’s adversities, disappointments, setbacks, failures, injustices etc. This is how REBT is most often demonstrated. People present a problem and the REBT … Read more
People who avoid misery and work at changing what can be changed when adversity strikes all employ REBT’s Principle of Emotional Responsibility. Simply stated this principle asserts that people make themselves disturbed about obstacles, adversities, injustices, mistreatment, ill health, disabilities etc., etc. If you employ this principle and take responsibility for your emotional and behavioral … Read more
Rigid attitudes like “You must treat me nicely” or “Life conditions must be relatively hassle-free and fair to me” do not change reality. These rigid attitudes do change OUR emotional reaction to reality. Most people quickly see this point and how flexible attitudes do not clash with reality. For example, “I want you to treat me nicely but you do … Read more
Let us face it we all get rejected. Learning to live well with rejection is an essential emotional skill if you are planning on experiencing emotional health over the course of your life. Below is an ABC analysis of rejection to help you better understand how awfulizing will lead to an unhealthy emotional reaction to … Read more
Here is a rigid, self-defeating, irrational attitude that fallible humans commonly use to create emotional disturbance when the going gets rough in life: “The world and my living conditions must be comfortable, gratifying, and just, providing me with all that I want in life.” REBT Disputing Questions: Where is it written that the world and … Read more
Here is a rigid attitude that often is at the core of unhealthy anger which reduces your leverage for dealing with other people’s misbehavior: “Other people must treat me fairly, kindly, and well.” REBT Disputing Questions: Do other people always get treated fairly, kindly, and well by the people in their lives? If not then … Read more
Here an unhealthy attitude that often leads to a great deal of emotional pain, especially anxiety: “I must do well and be loved and approved by others.” REBT disputing questions: Do I want to do well or do I absolutely need to do well? Does holding the attitude I must do well and be loved … Read more
