Walter J. Matweychuk, Ph.D. Keep reminding yourself that you disturb yourself. Strongly tell yourself at that tempting moment when you want to engage in irrational thinking, irrational emoting and self-defeating whining: “Things do not absolutely have to be as I want them to be. I disturb myself by demanding reality to be as I think it absolutely should … Read more
Nothing AND no one have to be the way I want them to be. This is the bottom line. The sooner we all get this into our thick, fallible heads the more serenity we all will enjoy and perhaps we all will start working together a bit better. Try it!
Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy appeals to me, and hopefully sooner or later to you as well, because it is a liberating philosophy AND psychotherapy. It is self-liberating. It emphasizes choice, self-responsibility from emotional disturbance and self-direction. This is why I practice it on myself and teach it to others. The premise in REBT is that … Read more
People often give lip service to rational thinking and the Principle of Emotional Responsibility. They will agree that adversity in and of itself is insufficient for causing emotional upset when they are successful at using the ABC model and the Principle of Emotional Responsibility. However, sometimes a person will argue that under some conditions some … Read more
An important distinction I make with my patients is between healthy and unhealthy dissatisfaction. Depending on the context I may call it a healthy and unhealthy unhappiness. I go on to teach that it is good and useful to experience this state of healthy dissatisfaction when we are blocked in the pursuit of our goals … Read more
People can come to have a good understanding of REBT in a fairly short period of time. The core ideas of REBT are fairly straightforward. In a few sessions with me and/or after reading a book by Al Ellis or Windy Dryden you will understand how REBT explains your emotional and behavioral disturbance. That is … Read more
Remember all definitions of a person’s worth are arbitrary definitions. There are no standards for judging a person’s essential worth and therefore rating the self is not valid. More importantly it is self-inflicted pain. Rate the parts of you; rate the behaviors you do, and work to modify those parts and behaviors that get in … Read more
Errare Humanum Est 6/20/2017 You are a human being, a living process that does many things over the course of a lifetime. Humans are inclined to myopically focus on their errors and missteps missing the forest from the trees. Live in the present and learn from the past so you do not repeat missteps in […]
In REBT I not only attempt to help you reduce unwanted feelings and behaviors that bring you to consult a psychologist but I seek to help facilitate a more enduring, profound, transformative change. Ellis called this a profound philosophical change. Some people now are speaking of transformative experiences. What do we mean by this in … Read more
REBT teaches that some degree of happiness is nearly always an option if you choose to give up these three rigid and extreme attitudes: 1. Life conditions must be as I want them to be. If they are not it is awful, terrible and unbearable. 2. You absolutely must treat me nicely as I want you to treat … Read more
