Walter J. Matweychuk, Ph.D. Remember all definitions of a person’s worth are arbitrary definitions. There are no standards for judging a person’s essential worth and therefore rating the self is not valid. More importantly it is self-inflicted pain. Rate the parts of you; rate the behaviors you do, and work to modify those parts and behaviors that get in … Read more
Errare Humanum Est 6/20/2017 You are a human being, a living process that does many things over the course of a lifetime. Humans are inclined to myopically focus on their errors and missteps missing the forest from the trees. Live in the present and learn from the past so you do not repeat missteps in […]
In REBT I not only attempt to help you reduce unwanted feelings and behaviors that bring you to consult a psychologist but I seek to help facilitate a more enduring, profound, transformative change. Ellis called this a profound philosophical change. Some people now are speaking of transformative experiences. What do we mean by this in … Read more
REBT teaches that some degree of happiness is nearly always an option if you choose to give up these three rigid and extreme attitudes: 1. Life conditions must be as I want them to be. If they are not it is awful, terrible and unbearable. 2. You absolutely must treat me nicely as I want you to treat … Read more
Ready you mind for the day. Adversity will sooner or later find you. The question is what attitude will you take towards it? Will you demand that people be as you think they absolutely should be, that life has to be as you want it to be and that you must perform as brilliantly as you wish to perform? Hold these rigid … Read more
It is important that I remind you how hard it is to change. People sometimes get down because they are finding it difficult to change and they think REBT is failing them. REBT is not failing you. This is true because nature has not made change an easy accomplishment. Change is new learning and the … Read more
Here is a rational attitude which will help you cultivate high uncertainty tolerance and enable you to take calculated risks: I want certainty that something will OR will not happen BUT I do not need certainty. We live in a world of probability where absolute certainty does not exist. I will do what I … Read more
There are few things REBT teaches you and encourages you to work on: 1. Building unconditional self-acceptance and other-acceptance 2. Building discomfort and frustration tolerance 3. Learning to be responsible for your emotions and your behavioral reactions to disappointments, failures, and adversity. Don’t blame your reactions on events or other people. This is a … Read more
The Seductive Emotion of Anger 4/26/2017 In the morning anticipate adversities and situations which will tempt an angry response from you. By thinking in advance you can formulate responses that will help you to respond effectively, not angrily, to such challenges. Remember that people’s misbehavior, however you choose to define misbehavior, contributes but does not ever […]
Keep working on your low discomfort tolerance. Impatience is self-defeating. Life takes time. Stay with a goal and you will achieve it or come real close which will have ample rewards. The goals we generally fail at are the ones we quit on. Make your mantra “It is difficult and uncomfortable to sustain effort but not … Read more
