People sometimes ask, what are the critical factors in achieving therapeutic change when using REBT? Do these apply if I am not working with a psychotherapist but using REBT as a method of self-therapy?
Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is a self-help type of therapy. The critical factors in achieving therapeutic change overlap whether one works with a professional or prefers to travel their therapeutic journey alone. I will discuss these essential factors and how you can use REBT to achieve your therapeutic goals.
Achieve An Accurate Understanding of Core Ideas
REBT is concept-heavy psychoeducation; therefore, the first step is accurately understanding its core ideas and strategies. A psychotherapist partially imparts this understanding during a session. Still, a great deal of learning can, and preferably should, occur through reading REBT books, listening to my free REBT lectures and presentations found on REBTDoctor.com, and studying the weekly Intermittent Reinforcement emails I distribute. As you work with your REBT therapist, read the REBT Pocket Companion for Clients, 2nd edition. Dr. Windy Dryden and I wrote this little book to introduce REBT ideas incrementally. Active reading and attempting to do the exercises and implement the behaviors discussed in these resources is essential. I will say more about this later in this piece.
Set Goals and Define What Constitutes Progress
Another factor is goal setting, as it is helpful to specify the problem you wish to address and define progress. One should ideally identify the key adversities that one faces. These can be thoughts about a past traumatic event, a threatening future event, or a current negative state of affairs. REBT uses the ABC model of emotion, and this framework can be beneficial in goal setting. After constructing a short list of adversities, list the self-defeating emotions and behaviors you tend to display when facing these listed adversities and that undermine successfully addressing them. In other words, one needs to be clear about what one wishes to accomplish to make therapeutic progress. Thinking about progress in terms of goals, adversities, and self-defeating emotions and behaviors helps you focus your therapeutic efforts.
An accurate understanding of REBT’s core concepts and change strategies and how they apply to your problems will lead to intellectual insight. Knowing these concepts and strategies is necessary but insufficient for you to achieve therapeutic results. You will need to work with these ideas and strategies daily to master them.
Observe How You React to Adversity and Actively Use the ABC Model
Start by monitoring your reactions, stepping back, and examining how you react. Ask yourself if the emotions and behaviors you display in a particular situation are helping you achieve your goals or undermining your goals. Stop and do an ABC analysis of your reaction when you note self-defeating reactions. It is best to use one of the many REBT self-help sheets on my website REBTDoctor.com. I recommend worksheet #17, but #11 might be more appealing to you. Still, if a worksheet is not handy, you can write the letters ABCDE on paper. Then work your way down the list of letters unpacking all the components of the ABC model for this emotional episode. Remember to do D Disputing and E Effective New Attitude as you work through the episode. If writing on paper is not feasible, at the very least, remind yourself that you are making yourself upset as you face this negative state of affairs. Then take immediate responsibility for your reaction. Remember that you have an emotional choice not to upset yourself and respond healthily. Then in your head, try to determine the B or Basic Attitude you are holding that is the primary factor in your emotional and behavioral reaction. Challenge this idea while in the situation, create an alternative philosophy to drive your emotions and behaviors in this situation, and then act upon this newfound awareness. At first, all this will be challenging but keep at it. REBT gets easier to use the more you use it.
You can take ten minutes daily to do a self-help sheet in advance of a problematic situation you anticipate facing in the future to prepare for it. Alternatively, for adversity you encountered in the past, where you used the ABC model in your head on the fly, review that adversity using a self-help worksheet. A written analysis will enable you to understand your self-defeating reaction thoroughly. Dispute the rigid or extreme attitudes that were responsible for this reaction. Give more thought to the flexible and non-extreme attitude that would have led to a healthy negative emotion and effective behavior. If you are working with an REBT therapist, bring these written worksheets to your session and ask them to give you feedback on your use of the worksheet to analyze your reaction.
It would be best if you looked for opportunities to implement these ideas and strategies to make significant progress. Remind yourself that this will involve getting out of your comfort zone. Strive to take calculated risks, act in new and uncomfortable ways, and commit to thinking and feeling in flexible, non-extreme, healthier ways.
Identify Meaningful Healthy Attitudes to Practice Daily
After using REBT, you will become aware of the new attitudes you need to strengthen. Acting in a way that is consistent with the philosophy, which usually is uncomfortable, is the best way to build conviction in these attitudes. However, you can prepare and strengthen your conviction by doing what I call psychological pushups daily. In the morning of each day, in a firm voice, read aloud a healthy attitude into your phone’s digital voice recorder three times. Then listen to this recording. Saying aloud and then listening to a healthy idea can strengthen a healthy attitude and prepare you for later in the day when you face adversity. You will practice like an athlete who repeats a desired physical movement during practice sessions to execute the action expertly under game conditions. These healthy ideas will be on the tip of your tongue, so to speak, when you meet up with trouble later in the day. Practice these healthy attitudes in advance of adversity. Luck favors the prepared mind.
Teach Other People REBT
You can also overtly or covertly teach REBT to others. When you discuss the ideas and strategies of REBT with another person and show them how to apply these powerful ideas, you will deepen your understanding of them. Please do not push these ideas on others when they are not looking for your assistance beyond listening to them vent about a problem. If you proselytize with people who are not interested, you risk damaging your relationship with them. Instead, model the ideas in your reactions. Demonstrate unconditional other-acceptance and allow people their self-defeating reactions. If you wish, you might use stealth mode REBT. Stealth mode is when you model REBT and use its ideas as the basis for your verbal responses in a conversation. Here you are indirectly teaching and strengthening healthy ideas with another person. For example, suppose a friend is anxious, do not reassure them that a bad event won’t happen. Instead, remind them that they have found their way through past problems, and you are confident they will have the strength to get through this challenging event if it comes to pass.
Watch People Learn REBT on My Saturday Zoom Demonstrations
Every Saturday, attend the REBT Conversation Hour on Zoom. You will see REBT applied to various problems here, and you won’t be in the hot seat. You can sit back and watch how I break the volunteer’s problem down using the ABC framework. You will observe how I identify the self-defeating consequences at C and identify the healthy emotions and behaviors a person can choose to have. You will watch how I uncover their rigid attitudes at the core of their disturbance and challenge these attitudes through various lines of questioning. You will then see the new healthy attitude we create and the homework I suggest the volunteer do to implement this new attitude in their life. People have to go from the discussion to life, and by watching each week how I show them to use the takeaway from the meeting, you will learn how to apply REBT to your problems. As you watch, you can ask how any of what you observe may apply to your life. During the final twenty minutes, you will have an opportunity to ask specific questions about the issue discussed or other aspects of REBT theory and practice. My patients in therapy get better faster and more thoroughly by watching these demonstrations regularly. Other people doing REBT self-therapy have a chance to discuss a problem with me and learn from that discussion. However, like my regular therapy patients, they too benefit by watching the weekly application of REBT to different issues.
Acknowledge Backsliding and Resume Doing Daily Practice – Do it or Lose it
Keep monitoring your behavior and be on the lookout for backsliding. Do not become discouraged if you begin to display unhealthy emotions and behaviors you overcame in the past using REBT. Accept yourself as a fallible human who, like all others, is prone to backsliding. You need to keep doing your REBT pushups to maintain your therapeutic progress. You need to accept that ongoing practice and stepping out of your comfort zone are required to maintain the therapeutic changes you have made. Continue to think about and apply the fundament ideas of REBT, continue to dispute your unhealthy attitudes, and continue to read and attend Zoom sessions. You will likely hold onto and even extend your original therapeutic gains through this ongoing practice of REBT. Like physical fitness, REBT fitness requires continuous psychological exercise. Commit to ongoing REBT self-therapy and see for yourself!