Blog: Self-Help Posts on REBT

It Would Be Better…

Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) emphases the important role language plays in emotional disturbance. In REBT we encourage you to look for your rigid beliefs as it is psychological rigidity that lies at the core of emotional disturbance. We express our rigid beliefs with words like should, ought, and must. Using these words as we think about … Read more

Make a Profound Philosophical Shift

Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy is unique in that it does not want you merely to feel better but it encourages you to ensure long term well-being by making a profound philosophical shift. This is a lofty goal but worthy of effort. To make such a profound philosophical shift do the following:   1. Accept the … Read more

Call Procrastination What It Is – Copping Out

Consider experimenting with the following. First thing each morning quickly make two lists. Make a “morning” agenda and an “afternoon” agenda. Attempt to place more uncomfortable and dreaded items on the morning agenda. Have your priorities. Consider what is important to you. That is what goes on the list.   Now here is the important part. … Read more

What Drives Us Apart

In Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy relationships are harmed by a few mistakes which fallible humans are inclined to make (Ellis and Crawford, 2000). Although these mistakes are few in number they usually produce a tremendous amount of interpersonal tension between people. These mistakes are holding rigid beliefs as to how others act, confusing your opinion … Read more

Moving Towards the Life You Value

Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy makes the assumption that the primary purpose of life is to maximize pleasure. In order to maximize pleasure and minimize suffering we advocate being a long term hedonist. This means living for both today and tomorrow. If one only lives for the pleasures of today then there is a good likelihood that … Read more

The Value of Accepting People “as is”

Let’s be honest. We all want to live well with our fellow humans but at times it can get difficult to do so. Humans are unique, hold different points of view and often we do not agree. When conflict occurs we often strive to influence the other person to adopt our point of view. We … Read more

This Too Shall Pass – Or Sadly Maybe Not…

One of the defining and liberating features of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy is what we call the elegant philosophical solution. In our society people often attempt to inspire and help each other by uttering the phrase “This too shall pass.” This is approach is sometimes helpful but sadly in life some bad situations linger on and do … Read more

Self-Downing, Self-Upping and Self-Rating

People create emotional disturbance by engaging in what REBT calls self-rating. There are two types of self-rating. One is when you self-down and the other is when you self-up.   Self-downing is when you hold beliefs like “I have to be the best, the top dog, and the standard I use to judge this is how … Read more

Confusing Your Wants with Your Absolute Needs

Fallible humans easily view things they strongly want as absolute needs. When we engage in this thinking trap we create unnecessary misery and despair. For example, we may want love from a particular person, career success, or a better job and then wrongly jump to the conclusion we absolutely need these things which are important … Read more