Ellis argued that one definition of emotional disturbance was to take yourself, others, and life either too seriously or not seriously enough. When we take ourselves too seriously, we link our ego to respect from others and to the quality of our performances and personal traits. We are prone to disturbed emotions like unhealthy anger, shame, anxiety, depression, and unhealthy envy. We conditionally accept ourselves based on getting due respect from others, and only accept ourselves when we perform well. Doing so can be emotionally dangerous because others may not always show us due respect, and because we are all fallible, we will inevitably fall short at times.
Taking others too seriously has its risks. If we do so, we may tend to seek their approval compulsively and have unhealthy feelings of hurt, unhealthy anger, shame, and depression when we are unable to win them over.
When we are not sufficiently serious about life, we may take foolhardy risks, engage in short-term hedonism, and thereby defeat ourselves, our health, our safety, and our well-being.
In our Masterclass on Getting the Most of Yourself-Dealing with Obstacles to Self-Development, Dr. Dryden and I discussed how REBTers use humor in psychotherapy and encourage our clients to cultivate a healthy sense of humor to maintain their emotional well-being. I mentioned an audio recording Ellis gave to a professional audience titled “Fun as Psychotherapy,” in which he outlined the core ideas of REBT from a humorous perspective and explained how he used humor in psychotherapy. Below is a link to that recording. I strongly suggest you listen to this funny recording to enrich your understanding of REBT and the role a sense of humor plays in emotional well-being. On the same webpage as the humor presentation is a serious presentation on REBT by Ellis, which is one of my favorite presentations. In this more serious lecture, there is a noteworthy segment on inertia and how humans are prone to it. Listen to both of these as they will work together to help you understand the powerful ideas of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy. You will have a much better chance of using REBT effectively with an accurate understanding of its principle tenets and strategies. Listening to presentations like these will help you achieve this enriched understanding. Remember, as Al used to say, “Repetition is the mother of learning.” Give these important lectures a listen!
Listen, learn, and enjoy: https://rebtdoctor.com/dr-