The difference between unhealthy anger and healthy anger is the philosophy that underpins each emotion. In unhealthy anger you tend to have a demand with either condemnation of the other person and/or low discomfort tolerance. For example, you might think "This person must not say or do this any longer and because they are continuing to act as they must not they are a jerk and I can't stand it any longer." However, with healthy anger the philosophy that underpins it is "I really, really wish this person not say or do this any longer but there is no natural law that prevents him or her from doing this and although I will put down what this person is doing I still accept this person as a fallible human being. When he or she does this action I really hate it but truth be told I have stood it this long and I can stand it. It does not help me deal with him or her if I tell myself I can't stand it any longer. Let me take a deep breath and effectively respond to this objectionable behavior that does not defeat me in the long run."
As you hopefully see the philosophy behind healthy anger, annoyance, frustration, sorrow and displeasure are light years away from the philosophy of unhealthy anger. Again, unhealthy anger involves a demand plus condemnation and/or low discomfort tolerance. It is easy to go from healthy anger to unhealthy anger as we can quickly shift our beliefs. I suggest you try to observe yourself as you are interacting with another person. If you see yourself talking too fast, interrupting, holding your breath, not listening there is a good chance you have crossed the philosophical line and are experiencing unhealthy anger. Then once you have observed this change your thinking and your feelings right away before you do yourself harm! Take a deep breath and think and respond more effectively. I think you will find you can do this even though it takes work and practice. Practice not losing your cool and you will see how you solve problems and tend not to get manipulated.