This is where the groaning and moaning usually happens either overtly or covertly. The easy part of therapy is talking about your irrational attitudes or reading about REBT. However, I emphasize that therapy without action is a waste of time. Likewise, reading a self-help book without acting on the information you have read is also a waste of time. The Stoic philosopher Epictetus said over 2000 years ago that "Learning that does not lead to action is useless." I agree with Epictetus. If you want to make real change you need to push yourself to act in a way that is both uncomfortable and different than the way that you usually do. And in all probability you will have to act in this alternative way many, many times to undo all the prior times you have acted and reinforced false ideas like “I need the approval of others” or “I have to perform perfectly well because the task is important to me.”
I have even more bad news for you my dear reader. Once you have done all this action and have changed your attitudes through action and effort you had better keep doing these rational actions because it will be all too easy for you to go back to your old ways of thinking and behaving. Yes humans backslide unless they keep at their rational fitness training. Just as a long distance runner must continue to run miles and miles almost daily to maintain their cardiovascular fitness, you too had better accept the fact that unless you keep after yourself and continue to act on these rational attitudes you will eventually return to your old tricks. This of course is bad but far from awful. If it were to happen it means only one thing. That you need to start pushing yourself again and again and again to act rationally until you even more deeply come to see and more deeply come to believe that the rational attitude is true and your old irrational attitude is false, false, false!
Remember, therapy without action is a waste of time.