If you wish to use REBT there are a few basic ideas you should think about. Start with unconditional self-acceptance. Begin by not rating your personhood and scoring your worth as a person. Instead rate what you do. This is how you learn. Rate what you like about what you have done and what you dislike. Consider what you could have done differently. Reflect on this performance and other performances but do not use these performances to measure your worth or to compare your worth as a person to that of some ideal. Accept yourself as an individual who is in a constant state of flux and whose component parts cannot be summed and scored to yield a total score.
Next, work on your tendency to impose demands on life, other people and yourself. This is the concept of Musturbation or Demandingness. Keep your preferences but give up those absolute shoulds and absolute musts. These rigid beliefs serve no useful purpose. Anger, despair, shame, guilt, unhealthy envy and unhealthy jealousy follow from demanding that things be as you think the absolutely should be. Instead learn to have tolerance and acceptance for what exists. Strive to change what you do not like but until that fine day arrives when things have changed learn to give up those rigid demands which lead to all sorts of unhealthy and self-defeating negative emotions.
Fallible humans have a difficult time clinging to unconditional self-acceptance and a preferential philosophy. Accept this difficulty and go against the grain. Do what is difficult and unfamiliar. Accept yourself and think flexibly about all adversities you face. Keep your values and strive to change what you can but do not demand to achieve your wishes easily, comfortably or quickly.