REBT stretches your mind. It is out of the box thinking. Sadly not everyone chooses to use it. Some people fight it. The concept that other people do not cause your unproductive feelings of hurt is novel to most people. The concept that you hurt yourself over what others do is likely to be a very different way of thinking about things. The idea that there is no universal standard of deservingness that is written in stone is not usually openly discussed are actively taught. Instead we sometimes are wrongly taught that we deserve what we want. I think people can use REBT philosophy to help them live well with other fallible humans but it takes adopting new beliefs and then acting according to those beliefs. Humans will from time to time think in a crooked way. We will lapse into periods of self-pity and hurt. These counterproductive feelings stem from a self-defeating demand to get what we believe we deserve. Fallible humans can learn to adopt better beliefs that allow us to function better in a difficult world but it sometimes takes longer than we would preferably want. This is the human condition.
Rehearse and adopt this rational philosophy: Other people do not hurt me. The better view is that I hurt myself by what I demand from them. I want others to treat me as I believe I deserve to be treated but there is no absolute law that says this must be done. I can accept that and bear it. I can dislike what others do to me but never have to condemn them for their crummy behavior. Developing philosophical tolerance and acceptance for the crap other people dish out is in my best interest and I am worth doing it for. I never have to like their maltreatment but in the end I also never have to disturb myself about it. Making myself feel hurt over maltreatment does not help me get treated well. It reduces the quality of my life after being treated poorly. The choice is mine. I am in control of my emotions and I am taking back the power.