Look for the Beliefs (your philosophical musts, shoulds, I can’t stand it, self and other global ratings with depreciation of the person) that lead to your upset and work to change those beliefs. To use a metaphor from cooking in a kitchen, if you use the philosophical Teflon of REBT you will not have to leave the kitchen due to the heat!
Remember – you need to use REBT to learn REBT and to make real change. It is all too easy to talk the REBT talk but to make real progress and achieve your goals you have to “walk the talk”. Push yourself to act and behave in a way that is consistent with the REBT message. Tolerate the heat so to speak! This is how one learns REBT.