1. People (absolutely) should do things as I want them to be done, they should think as I think, and perform as I would perform. (Anger at others)
2. Life (absolutely) must not present me with obstacles that frustrate me as I pursue my many important goals. (Anger at being blocked)
3. I (absolutely) should not make mistakes or interfere with my effort to achieve my goal. (Anger at self)
Then consider realistic and self-helping attitudes which will enable you to feel annoyed, displeased, disappointed, sad, or concerned but not angry when you encounter an obstacle, a misfortune, an instance of misbehavior, or when you make a mistake undermining your own goals. Here are some examples:
1. I want people to do things as I want them to done, think as I think, and perform as I would perform but they do not have to not have to proceed as I want them to proceed. People can't be controlled, they have a mind of their own, and often seek the easy path. People will tend to do things their way not my way. I can try to influence them but let me first work on controlling my reaction to them. If I am emotionally out of control with anger, I am temporarily unsane and will be less likely to respond to them in a way that is in my long term best interest.
2. I wish life would not present me with obstacles that frustrate me as I pursue my important goals but life does not have to be smooth sailing as I pursue my goals. Getting angry defeats me and it is in my best interest not to yield to anger when I am blocked by frustrating situations. My anger reduces my creativity.
3. I want to avoid making unforced errors in life and avoid tripping myself up as I strive to achieve my goals but it is not true to hold the attitude that I absolutely must not trip myself up. I am and will always be a fallible human. As such it is best for me always to accept myself but to evaluate my actions in light of my goals and put down my self-defeating responses but never put me down as a person. Unconditional self-acceptance can help me change my self-defeating behavior. With self-acceptance, I can address in a responsible way my mistakes, errors, and ineffective responses to adversity.
Then go and face the day and see how things go. At the end of each day take a few minutes to reflect on how things went. Think about your thinking and your behavioral reactions. What did you do well and what did you do poorly? What attitudes helped you solve problems when things went wrong? What attitude helped you to creatively persist when things went wrong and when people blocked you? What might you try tomorrow to build on today's efforts? Then turn in for the night and start the process all over tomorrow. REBT philosophy works if you work at it.